the married dork

I had fun at joanne's wedding, obviously.

I don't know if I've ever written about how weddings make me feel. They were bitter for me. The happy couple reminded me of how far away I was from that and how badly I wanted to find the one.

I believe soul mates exist. But he won't just appear at my doorstep. A close friend once said you have to get off your butt and go get him. I'm not saying that I've found him during joanne's wedding. But something in joanne's smile and jon's anticipation broke my heart and made it into this mush. It really is possible to love someone the best you know how, lose and love again someday.

So to the happy couple thank you for making the world a happy place again.

Here's a list of highlights at the wedding:
1) In n Out is hecka far from Foster city.
2) Girls can eat as much as boys.
3) Flower balls are beautiful and freakishly heavy. Unless you enjoy stabbing yourself with wires use a smaller ball and have extra roses.
4) You need arm strength to roll over while sleeping on the floor.
5) Dress shoes should not fit like flip-flops.
6) Practice putting on make-up. Don't wing it.
7) Talk to strangers at weddings especially if you trust the judgment of the bride and groom.
8) Eat regularly or else find yourself inhaling a burrito.
9) Chill.
10) Be the loudest table at dinner. You'll make the other tables jealous.
11) Light saber battle!
12) Guitar serenades. I think joanne likes kissing.
13) Scavenged cake is still cake but even more delicious because you had to work for it.
14) Don't walk home alone.
15) Sing along with the ipod.
16) Then they lived happily ever after.

Cloud

You better be awake for this because otherwise I'm just wasting my time. One of the major reasons I thought about not posting any more was I felt I was holding back. There were some things I wanted to say but didn't. I originally wanted a place for my head (as linkin park would say). Overtime it just became this diluted list of what was happening and I began to wonder what the point of it was. But I feel like I'm back to what I originally intended. I do feel a little exposed but it's better than being closed off.

Now back to the show.

It's weird to be thinking about someone you've only met once right? I don't mean they made just an impression but you feel smitten. Ok, like you're 12 and you have a crush and you want to make little heart scribbles in your notebook.

Laurie couldn't stay for Joanne's wedding because her cousin's was at the same time. I was nervous without her because this was my first wedding without my parents and Laurie's my security blanket for girly functions and she wasn't there.

I was sitting in the third row and there were two empty seats next to me. I expected a couple to sit there but instead it was just this guy. As he sat down next to me I smiled and waved at him and he waved back. Don't know why I waved even after I told myself not to be weird. I decided I wouldn't say anything else. He said out loud how he was glad he wasn't late and knew where the church was. I introduced myself and asked if he was with the bride or the groom. He knew both from way back. How far back? Youth camp. I mention laurie, joanna and kim but when I add "woo" he said "oh, the woo sisters." Then the girl sitting next to me leans over and introduces herself and they talked about youth camp and I was thinking, "I spoke to him first and you just cut me out? Wait, did I just think that?! Well, I made the effort. Should I offer to trade seats? No then it'll look like I'm pissed. I'm not, just annoyed is all. Oh, they're done talking now. Be cool be cool." (Now for those of you who don't know I am anti-social around those I'm not close with. At work small talk is part of the job. So for me to initiate small and be interested takes a lot).

I didn't think he was going to say anything else but then asks me how I know the bride and groom. He mentions how he used to work at a comic book store. I so wanted to say how cool it was because one could read comics all day. I asked him who his favorite superhero was and he said Batman. I must've sound offended when I said I couldn't believe he would choose DC over Marvel because he got louder and said it wasn't about that. He questioned how I could be a Marvel fan with all their alternative universes and overlapping timelines. He asked who I like and I said spider-man before he got big. He liked him but thought he had gotten too emo over the years and complained about the clone wars. Yes, they were weird but Ben Riley. How could one not like Ben Riley? If it came down to it he'd go with batman (whatever). He mentioned he was trying to get into the comic business so I questioned why he wasn't at comic con. He lifts his hands and says wedding. Touche. But comic-con started on Thursday and the wedding was Saturday. If he's going to attend it would be for the whole thing including the preview night wednesday. I tell him about fanime-con and he's been there too. He was cloud from advent children. He made a sword the size of a billboard to go with it. He complained about the girls constantly asking for photos. He didn't like all the contact from strangers. I blurt out how I can't stand fan girls and he says especially girls with cat ears. If I was president of the "i hate cat girl club" I would've made him a member. I told him about ann and jocelyn doing cos play as well and one year we took turns being no name from spirited away which he thought was cool but not cool when I told him how this one girl grabbed me and I had to use the swifter handle to keep from being smothered by her boobs.

He mentioned his ex-girlfriend (I wanted to ask if he had a current one) sang at a number of weddings and said how it was all high drama in the back even if it seemed all happy in the front. I said with Joanne she was totally mellow. I was with the flowers and she trusted us to handle things. A smaller bouquet was substituted for the flower ball I worked on (my fingers still feel raw from the wiring) and joanne didn't freak out about it (Well, maybe she just didn't notice). The ball was way too heavy to carry. That ribbon handle could slice the hand. If I was having problems I don't know how a five year old would deal.

After the ceremony was photo time but the group he was suppose to be in was really full. If it was an elevated platform it would've gone down. He said he would skip the photo but I suggested he sneak into the group I was in high school/ college/ work. He said he worked for the company the groom use to work for and I said it counted. But we ended up on different sides. Before I could say good bye the group I was with decided to go for a burrito run and we didn't speak again untill....

the wedding banquet. I was there early to help set up. He was over at the greeting table but I wasn't sure if I should say hi. I don't know I just walked out earlier, rude. Maybe he found his friends and wanted to talk to them instead. At one point he came up to say hi. He was by the door and pointed out the flower ball I worked on. He said he like it and I was flattered because I didn't think he'd remember. He tried it out and said it was good for a weapon. If anything were to go down he'd go for that first.

And then I really didn't speak to him again because there was work to be done. But I did look for him a few times. I even pointed him out to Laurie. It's more like I pulled her to the side and we walked past him and she stopped a few feet behind him to confirm it was that guy. I was stealing glances at him until I noticed Laurie looking at me. I turned red and just turned to face the wall. After dinner he picked up lightsabers (I tell you it was a fun wedding) and was doing tricks with them. At that point I knew I was definately in trouble.

I couldn't say good-bye to him when I saw him leaving. Well I waved when he wasn't looking and this other guy walking by waved back at me.

Now I am where I am. Jocelyn thinks we should track him down with one of them social networks. My sisters wondered why we didn't exchange numbers. At the time I didn't think much about it because I didn't think I was going to want to talk to him again after the wedding. I did find him on a social network but I'm not going to create an account just to say "Hey just wanted to say nice meeting you and bye. Oh, and I'm not stalking you even though it looks that way". But I read what he had to say and if he's genuine then I'm totally intimidated. It feels like you're in junior high and you have a crush on a high schooler.

I should just forget about him. I was probably just caught up in the moment. One too many sodas. He was just a nice guy making conversation. After all, he's dc and I'm marvel. The two could never come together. Well they did once for a brief time I think but yeah they're separate for the most part. So all we had was that one nice day and are never meant to meet again.

I'm crazy right?

Tasty But Deadly

In MSN's article "Best and Worst Theme Park Foods" I prefer the worst foods.

1) Funnel cake. I've never had it but you can't go wrong with fried dough dusted with powdered sugar.

2) Nachos. They can't be that bad. There's dairy in the cheese and sour cream. Protein in the beans and meat. Veggies with the olives and the guacamole. There's even tomato to stand in for fruit. Must be the chips that make them unhealthy. Skip the chips and hand me a spoon.

3) Chili cheese fries. It's a must when I go to Nation's. I can't imagine it'd be different at a park.

4) Corn dogs. Corn dog castle and corn dog queen.

5) Turkey Leg. On my last Disney trip (3+ years ago) I ate the whole thing. They go best with frozen lemonade.

6) Cotton candy aka pixie floss. That's kinda a gross. Eating someone's used floss.

7) Pizza. That's a lazy item. They have that everywhere. I have it in my freezer.

8) Candy apple. I would get tired after the first bite. I prefer apples in fritters or pie.

9) Corn on the cob. What a genius vegetable.

10) Skewers. Meat good. Veggies optional. Can they skewer corn kernels on?

11) Bring your own. They have a picture of carrot and celery sticks. That's lame. You should stay home if that's what you eat for fun. They should only be a decoration next to buffalo wings....oooh that sounds good.

Here's a few additional items I would like to try.

2) Fried candy bar. Sounds hot.

3) Fried pickle. Sounds a little gross but it's more exciting than the carrot sticks.

*bonus point: who is the corn dog queen?

Timed Madness

Shopping is stressful but if it's at the mall involving a dress and shoes then it's just crazy. There's an episode of Will and Grace where she takes her boyfriend to a sale. The poor guy is lugging around pile of clothes running after her. When he complains of fatigue she pulls a banana out and tells him to refuel. It was kinda like that. They have sales that begin in the morning and end before lunch. All those items tend to be sectioned off. Women travel in packs as they block off entire aisles wary of any intruders. Excuse mes are met with I saw that firsts. Dressing room lines make restroom lines feel like picnics. Entire families are packed into each stall. One department store only had one women's dressing room with just 6 stalls. Clothes lined the walls and floors. Some of the dresses I tried on made me look like a cow, a flowery, lacy, annoyed cow. That's just the dress part of it.

Then there were the shoes. I don't have much competition when it comes to my size but there's hardly any selection. When I buy shoes I have to look at size first then style. Pointy shoes hurt. My feet just wouldn't cooperate. At one point it seemed as though I was stuck between red hooker shoes or blue hooker shoes. I found one pair I like but it was just one shoe the other lost forever. I didn't get the shoes I would've like but at least I found a comfortable pair after an hour.

When I got home I was too tired to eat lunch and took a two hour nap. I don't take naps. This will teach to me wait until the last minute to do something.

Because I am a Girl

This is the last weekend before joanne's wedding. I have yet to look for a dress, or shoes, or whatever else I may need.

I tried to figure out what shape I was. Shape determines what dress is most flattering. I settled on pear-shaped. I don't look that much like a pear. Aren't weebles pear-shaped? I can wobble but I'd fall down. I don't get these categories. Once I tried to figure out face shape for a hair cut. Square? No. Heart? No. Round? No. Oval? No.

If we're expected to be categorized, shouldn't they tell us this in school? SAT scores are useless now! Women sizes don't make sense. The system for guys is based on the actual measurement. Once I was buying a pant suit but my top half was an 8 and the bottom was a 10. The women's counter said I couldn't mix and match. Did I prefer my top half to sag or my pants to spilt?

Then there's figuring out what accessories go with the outfit because we don't want any color blocking, whatever that means. Gah, shoes!

I guess if I were rich I'd pay someone to figure this all out for me. Then I could avoid having a therapist on speed-dial.

*bonus point: Besides this post what is the above title a reference to?

Follow that Cart

At the asian (It's so obnoxious when it's spelled azian.) supermarket my dad asks me if I can make a filipino dessert. I ask him what it is and he can't remember. That does not help me at all. I ask what's in it but he's not sure. He tells me he has a recipe. I ask where it is but he says he lost it. I tell him I can do nothing about it and he says he really likes it and wants me to make it. As I try to explain to him I can't transport myself to the potluck where he had this dessert he's distracted by a lady pushing a cart passed us. He points to her and says she has some of the stuff that was in it. So he follows her for a bit. She turns around and he starts asking her if she can tell us what's in the thing she's making. She looks surprised and lists things off. My dad goes to get them and she leaves. He goes in search of her, brings her back and won't let her out of his sight until all the ingredients are gathered. She's a good sport about the whole thing and gives us a few tips as well.

As we get in line to pay my dad looks at the freezer and asks if we should get ice cream instead.

Oh and I still don't know the name of the dessert.

Food does not = <3

On Friday I hurried home to get ready for bible study. My dad insisted he would have dinner ready. It was won ton and noodles in soup. Of course I burn myself before he can say, "It's hot". Now remember this part. It'll be important later on.

On Saturday I lost my appetite after some disturbing news but not before burning myself, again, on a french fry. After ignoring my hamburger it was off to the mall. Strangely enough the last time something similar happened I ended up wandering around the mall too. Come to think of it I also ignored a hamburger, quarter pounder to be exact. (I don't think they're really a quarter pound. On this occasion it was a Banzai burger. Dude, that's how they spell it. Those are good but not as good as Kimochi burgers. Those are just happiness.). When your head is full and stomach is empty it just makes for an aggravating evening.

When I got home I changed into my pj's and decided to surf the net. I get a phone call from my boss about a loan agreement and how it has to be done asap. So off I go to her house where I spend 2 hours translating Chinese into English because some men are too cheap to higher competent translators.

My boss pours me a glass of something and it hella burns my already burned mouth and is bitter. It's grapefruit juice (Got you thinking it might be booze didn't I?). She also offered me a bowl of won ton in some sauce. My mouth is burned again but this time by the hot chili oil in the sauce. Trying to counter the spiciness I drink the juice which created a sour burning sensation. I sat there rubbing my eyes and my boss apologizes thinking I must be extremely tired.

I get home, crawl into bed, and decide I need to find a new comfort when I'm feeling low because food can be just as painful.

March 4th aka Go Forth

There are a few characters I encounter at work. One of them is a seeker, not the harry potter kind but that be tight though. She's a psychic whose specialty is to locate lost objects. She asks me when my birthday is. '09 is going to be a slow year for me, a stick in the mud year. I dunno, things are pretty slow already. Any slower and I'd be going backwards (ba dum bum). She said that '10 and '11 were going to be really fast and there'd be a good chance I'd be married by then.

I'm content with the way things are now. Relationships are so much work. I'm in a selfish place and I like it. I like sleeping in the middle of the bed. I like not keeping track of anniversaries. I use the high-pitched voice only for impersonating my (guy) friends. So I'm just going to do what I've been doing and not even think about marriage.

Dang it, I still have those weddings to go to this year.

Dramas

I seem to encounter similar problems and they always seem big at the time. When I look back on them later they’re nothing more than small potatoes. (Potatoes are a good starch. They make fries out of those. I could go for some garlic fries).

One is where others think there's something romantic ( I was totally rolling my eyes as I typed that word) going on between two people but there's not. It's fun to be part of the "others" but not the "two people". You can't be nice because it might give the wrong impression. My being nice doesn't mean I want you. My being mean doesn't mean I want you either. I will probably tell you and then run away or sign off or die because I'm blushing so much the vessels in my face are about to explode. There are people of the opposite sex who are just friends. Perhaps the next time something nice happens it should come with a disclaimer, "I like you but not in that way, stupid".

Another is with dieting. They just don't work. Every time I see Mike V. he says he’s on a diet. He insists that he does loose the weight but my timing is bad and I happen to see him after he’s gained it all back. I don't mind the dieting, it’s consistent. Maybe it's been so long since he's been in my presence it’s become depressing so he eats to fill the emptiness inside.

Then there are brain farts. Yesterday my mom was standing by her closet. I looked across the room and saw someone lying in the bed under the covers. I turned to my mom, pointed to the bed and whispered, "Mom, are you sleeping?".

Dear John

I've been a part of many endings. I've experienced superheroes die like superman, captain america and the hulk ( I know he's not really dead but if your publisher decides to revamp your series by sending you to an alternate universe on an alien planet to fight angry monkeys and other hulks you might as well be dead. The appeal of the hulk as far as I can tell is how we all get mad and it makes us nuts. He just happened to run into some nuclear trouble and turns green. It was a constant struggle between staying human and an angry monster. So to have him stay as said monster and fight other monsters takes the human part out of it nullifying the basis of his story. I've never read the comic or even watched the movies so what do I know? This is what happens when you're not informed but choose to discuss anyway). My middle school moved from an old historic building to another historic building (abandoned church). I've seen the end to broken curses like the Red Sox ( Glad you guys keep winning but enough is enough. Please don't turn into the Yankees).

The branch where I work will be closing in October. The bank lost the lease and didn't want to pay double the rent. We sent notices to the customers this week. How do you console someone when a place they've been going to for 35 years is closing up?

I can't remember that last time I've heard so many sweet little old ladies say, " I'm pissed". Even though their branch is closing and most will have to close their accounts and go elsewhere most ask about us first. They want to make sure we're going to have jobs and a plan after. It's like saying good-bye to dozens of grandmas and grandpas at once. Some ask if they can call to talk even if their accounts are closed.

The plan is to have all the employees of my branch transferred over to the one in sf. No more free yogurt. No more homemade baked goods. No more grandkid stories.

Cold concrete jungle here I come.