Tuesday, August 31, 2010

How Many Bankers Does It Take

I work in an office with about 20 people. Individuals usually serve more than one function. For example, the accounting guy is also the supply guy. The loan document lady is also the party planner. I do a bit of everything.

But not all serve multiple functions. Some just observe. The copier was low on toner. Instead of just replacing it E notifies D (who was on her daily walk around the bank). P happened to walk by and they tell him what happened. J is about to go make a copy when I tell her that E, D, and P are working on it. Then G comes over and says she overheard the copier is broken. J, G and I (me) stand and watch from the lobby. Then M comes and watches with us. Meanwhile P is opening boxes trying to fit the toners in. D gets bored and joins us in the lobby. E crosses her arms and watches P. I ask P how I can help but E tells me she and P are working on it. Then C joins E in watching P. Eventually P finishes and everyone goes back to work but not before they all pat themselves on the back for changing the toner.

Next time I will tell you about what happens when we run out of tea in the lunchroom.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Back to School

i had a dream where i was going to college at some preppy ivy league school. the red brick buildings had ivy growing all over (that's why they're called ivy league. No seriously).

laurie's sister gave me a ride to school because it had snowed. i was bundled up in my burgundy with gold trimmed uniform. i climbed up a narrow staircase to english class to find one of my classmates sitting on the floor with his legs blocking the entrance to the classroom. i stepped over them and noticed that he looked just like zq. but there was no time to make sure since the class was about to start. the topic was on how bubbles could compose poems.

the prof said we had a special transfer student and started to hum the theme to the original star trek series. he then placed his hand on the shoulder of zq look-a-like and i realized he was the real mccoy. this one girl went right up to him and asked how it was working with william shatner. i rolled my eyes because shatner didn't work on the new film. ann was sitting next to me and suggested i go say hi too. i froze.

after class, christina showed up to give me a reading for my engineering class. it was about how robots would be able to save the economy if humans were eliminated. zq was talking to the prof. christina said it was my dream come true since i thought he was hot. i look over and zq heard her. i quickly left.

later in the day i get to the parking lot and bonnie was there. apparently someone had parked the most azianest rice rocket behind her car. she then pointed out the sticker decal, zq productions. she then took a picture of me next to the car pointing to the decal, grinning. we got into her car and i saw zq was in his car. he had seen us take the picture. i sank down in my seat.

as we drove off in bonnie's hover car, he waved at us, grinning. then there was this loud beeping i thought was a car alarm but it was nothing more than my alarm clock.

crazy dream. me in burgundy? puh-leeze.

Sorry Uncle Ben

I am a klutz. I am sometimes surprised at how klutzy I can be. I am smart enough to know when a klutzy moment will happen but somehow manage to still end up in the klutzy moment.

I usually pour out extra water from my cup at the end of the work day. One day I decided to not pour the water out. Before I left my cubicle I got an sense it was an accident waiting to happen. The image of water all over my desk appeared before my eyes. But I would remember so it would be fine. The next day I got to work and I placed my bag down right on top of the cup. Out of my entire desk I happen to place my bag in the same corner where the cup was. Water was all over my desk and I happened to have just printed a 96 page manual and that’s now soaked along with my stapler, hole puncher and a $1,000 check scanner. The carpet wasn’t spared either. The worse part of it was I forgot I had left the cup there. I stood there annoyed until finally the events from the day before flashed before my eyes.

What is the point of super powers if I ignore them?

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Get Your Head In the Game

I have no game when it comes to dating.

As I have mentioned before when it comes to meeting prospects I can't do it in front of an audience. There's too much pressure. Today was my chance for redemption. There was a guy I saw last year during a church outing to a baseball game. I was trying to think of something to say or even a reason to say something to him but nothing came. So I didn't even go over to say hi.

But I heard this year he would be at the game again. I was not going to let the moment pass. I came up with a number of openers in my head.

"I didn't talk to you last year because I was nervous but I want to so yeah".

"You're just my type, half white and half Asian. White enough so you're tall but Asian enough so you'll age gracefully."

"I think you're cute."

I saw him again and I felt my heart drop a little. A lady from church had even prepped me for the meet. This was the second chance I was waiting for but no it went more like "it's nice to meet you". handshake and that was it. I was too nervous. How I wish I had practiced or maybe taken a drink before trying to talk to him. Oh and it didn't help that his mom was right there watching our exchange. Oh, and there was her husband, the lady who prepped me and the pastor watching as well. I gave an awkward smile after the hand shake and then walked away.

I'm disappointed in myself. it's not that he was my soul mate or anything like that. but this was my second chance to say something to this guy and nothing, NOTHING! I walked away. I turned around and walked away from the guy I was beating myself over because I didn't talk to him last year. Fate does not drop single guys I find interesting in my lap very often. But there he was a second time and what happened? I choked. Not even a shot attempt at the buzzer. Fail.

If I had ice cream at my house I would totally eat a gallon of it right now.