Thursday, August 28, 2008

Hard to Breathe

the ac at the office has been out. It's hot. It's gross. there was no need to use the restroom even after 3 back to back glasses of water. clothes cling. raising my arms makes me nervous. the coolest place in the office is in the vault. it is also the mustiest place.the coolest place in the building is the restroom. it is also the stinkiest. customers who smell funny smell stronger in this heat. it is not funny. i don't get how something can smell funny. inhale and then laugh? i've never experienced that. oh but if you want someone to smell something don't say it smells bad and then shove it towards them. instead tell them not to smell it and they will willingly smell for themselves.

jocelyn decided we could never be vegetarians. we would give up veggies before meat.
jocelyn: yeah, like meatatarians!
me: or carnivores.

i've been learning lately that prayer is not wish list for stuff. God is not santa clause. it's hard praying for what's best for you especially when "what's best" isn't what you want. i should be happy with the lack of an answer from "that guy" because i prayed for whatever was best. best doesn't feel good.

"I used your lunch bag everyday today"- jocelyn.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Viva la Fat

i logged onto blogger and found myself staring at the anonymous silhouette version of me.

i attempted to take a picture of myself to post up. for some reason cameras never capture the forgiving light in my room. with the flash i'm like this pale ghost surrounded by darkness, without it i look yellow. And for some reason my camera has the ability to capture every flaw. one area of my forehead looked funny, like shiny mass or wrinkles. i had bags under the eyes. there were shiny and dull areas in my face. i waited for the pixels to clear but they didn't. it was all me. i will settle for the silhouette.

i was discussing food with ann and we like fat. fat tastes good. not like bites of lard or the grease that floats up in liquid but things like bacon, fried apple pie, and dark mystery meat chicken nuggets.

the world is trying too hard to force us to be healthy. i get that some people are dangerously obese but eliminating foods from menus won't save them. one has to choose to eat healthy. if people want to eat bad they will find ways to do it. besides why should i lose my favorite foods just because some lack will power? bring back the ribwich!
pretty soon they'll install chips inside us that will keep track of what we've consumed. these same chips will give off a foghorn like sound when we attempt to eat more than we're allowed. everyone will know that you were the one that ate the rest of the coleslaw and a handful of potato wedges in the middle of the night. but until that day comes let me decide what to eat. if i want to eat fat i'm gonna and there's nothing you can do to stop me.
there was this one time at a bbq drew, alice and i were eating pieces of cold butter. good times.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Skin

I don't get why women in beach volleyball play in bikinis. The guys don't play in bikinis. I don't remember volleyball players wearing bikinis in high school. ann and jocelyn played volleyball in high school. Maybe they decided not to play professionally because of the bikinis.

Guys tend to train in long boarder shorts but because they need a place for their names and numbers they must wear the jerseys. There's only 4 people playing at one time. How hard is it to keep track of 4 people? Where are the women's information? Between the boobs and on their backs. They could just put the guys' names and number on their shorts, like on their butts. Plenty of material there.

It gets hot . It's uncomfortable rolling around in sand and having it trapped in clothes. Boo hoo.

They have great figures. So do the men.

My point is if they don't have the guys playing in speedos the women should suit up or they might as well just have them all play naked. They could stay cool and avoid tan lines.

Well, they can keep their visors and shades on. Need to have someplace to put the sponsors.

Monday, August 11, 2008

I'm Not SJP

My sister got wind that I have a blog. Well she saw me updating it. I've been at this for years now so it's surprising that she found this surprising. She was comparing it to a certain HBO hit and I had to stop her right there. It's not that kind of a blog. Besides the lady was writing a column; this is a blog. She said it could someday be made a show and then a movie. I would prefer an anime. With my friends as characters a movie would be way too loud.

For the icebreaker at bible study we had to draw a picture of ourselves and around the picture lists interest, pet peeves, loves, and future goals. I think retirement is a good future goal to have. Don't know what I'd do all day but that would be part of the fun. Not having to have to be somewhere. Many people listed self-centeredness as a peeve. Wasn't the activity focused on ourselves? I thought about fanime-con and listed things that annoyed me about it. I should have listed people who don't return emails.

At church I was talking to po po chan and she looks at chu and says to me in chinese, "Is this your male friend?" I wasn't sure how to answer her. He is my friend but I have a feeling she wasn't asking me that. I should write "single" on my name tag.

I went to watch the softball game and one of the kids asked me if I was teaching at bible school this year. I said I had work. She couldn't believe I worked. When I told her my age she said, "Wow, I thought you were a teenager". In five years I'll be 30. Brandon from church will only be 21 then.

I met bonnie's dog honey and he reminds me very much of her old dog. Cute, fuzzy and afraid of people. Of course I tried to be friendly but I ended up on my hands and knees staring at the ground because you can't look at him directly in the face. I threw a ball at him. At least he's quiet and I think we came to an understanding.

I don't think my blog would ever make it past being a blog but if it occupied you for a couple of minutes then it has fulfilled it's purpose. And hey, you didn't even have to pay for cable.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Denied

"Show your love and your love will be returned". - fortune cookie

If you read my post "Cloud" I said maybe it was meant to be just for one day. Of course I couldn't leave well enough alone so I attempted to make contact and it has led me here. No response. I'm not sure what I was expecting. Things simmered down. The magic was wearing off and reality set in. But still...sad. Jocelyn says she hates him. I love her for that (not love in that way).

There is a silver lining in this. At least I know now I have enough of a spine to go out there.

But for right now I'm just going to stay under the covers and listen to linkin park.

The fortune cookie is a liar.

Not in the Face

When you're home all day parents find a way of lecturing you. Today it was on how much texting costs. So no more texts from now on.

I played softball this weekend. I was trying to be supportive and they were short one player. I found myself as the outfield rover. I don't like outfield. There's a chance a ball may come towards me. It's times like these I wish for telekinesis or a force field or ball repellent. So here I was standing in a field in the fog clutching my glove to my chest and I prayed, "God, I'm nervous".

This one hit came at me and instead of running away which would make sense I just sat to block it from getting past me. I took it right above both knees. It was awkward. It stung like hell. I felt like a new born giraffe trying to get up.

But what a game. There was a somersault, father and son running across the plate back to back, and a diving catch. We still lost but (dare i say it?) I had fun.


Moving hurts right now.

Friday, August 1, 2008

Dumb Dumbs

Sister: Why are there stupid people in the world?

My sister was on a forum about ethnicity and race. A guy was rattling on about how stereotypes are facts about a group. He went on to list some he felt were true like how "All asian women are bad drivers. I know because I see them all the time". Pardon me but I believe the stereotype is all asians are bad drivers. Way to turn a racist comment into a sexist one too. My sister decided to have a go and told him being ok with a stereotype doesn't make it ok. They were hurtful and tended to divide people. His answer to her was how they could be good things too. He wasn't making them up and he had done some research. His example was "Black people like fried chicken and kool-aid. My black friends agree. So you see stereotypes are based on fact". So stupid.

I can't help but wonder if he would make statements like that face to face with others. Online one is safely tucked away behind a screen making it difficult for another to reach out and smack you in the head when you're being stupid. This is why the internet is a double-edged sword. On the one hand it connects us all. On the other hand it connects us all.

I told her to forget it. Let him be happy in his little bubble before life rips him out of it, blows his head off and then eats him alive.

sister: You've been reading "Resident Evil" again haven't you?

me: Yes ma'am.

bonus point: Who made up the above term?