Friday, December 16, 2011

Forgive Me Miss Saigon

my boss asked if i’d go try panda express with her since i’m the only person she knows who will eat that kind of stuff. okay.

off to the mall food court we went. as we waited in line, i explained what to do. decide on a side, two to three entrees but be sure to say it was to go. the sides of the box provide additional space for food versus a flat paper plate. the line was moving slowly due to the restocking of orange chicken. so my boss decided to go to the vietnamese restaurant next door which had its own sitting area.

i didn’t see the harm since asians were eating there. an indicator of a good ethnic restaurant is seeing patrons of that ethnicity eat there (i go to panda express the line triples behind me). the waitress was nice enough but her accent was off. the utensils only added to my suspicion. spoon and fork for a rice plate. then i bit into my fried chicken wing and knew why. it tasted like jollibees. this vietnamese restaurant was run by filipinos. the waitress, the spoon, the lumpia-sized imperial roll i should have realized nobody in there was vietnamese.

growing up near daly city aka little manilla and eating banh mis from little paris you would think i would be able to tell the difference. i had mistaken filipinos for vietnamese. apparently, i now think all asians look the same.

while my asian side turns away in disgust my jewish side is having a field day.

“i was going to buy this cute noah’s ark stand as a christmas gift for my friend but it’s really a menorah”. – me.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

One Fish Two Fish Red-Faced Fish

on saturday, i attended jocelyn's mom's work's mardi gras-themed christmas party. it felt like an alcoholic prom or a wedding full of strangers. they had coat check-ins, masks, beads, a buffet, dancing, live bands and a gambling hall to for the 2,000 attendees.

we did not make a beeline towards the food. jocelyn insisted we gamble first. something is off when she chooses gambling over food. the gambling room was not ready so we ate first.

buffets are probably the things i dread the most when it comes to asian people-watching. the group in front of me decided to load onto their plates everything (ironically except rice). taking the entire tray of oysters including the tray was a bit much i think.

then off to gambling. the point was to gain as many chips as possible to purchase as many raffle tickets as possible in order to increase the chances of winning as many prizes as possible. there were black jack, poker, roulette, and spin the wheel things. we played black jack...for over three hours.

i see where jocelyn gets her no sham...fear attitude from. her mom practically said to the dealer he was going to help her win(give her) lots of chips. i was impressed and scared of how persuasive she was. the guy assisted us (peeking at cards, not taking away chips when we lost). he reminded me of chekov (the anton yelchin one). we learned some things about him and he of us. there was even a group picure with him. but before you take it another step further let me say something. he was divorced and possibly eighteen. legal but still, eewww.

there was some more awkward when we met a less than sober coworker of jocelyn’s mom who was affectionate towards jocelyn and later when i asked what was a king cake was this guy said, “it's mine. ‘cuz I’m the king.”

overall i had lots of fun and our group ended up with two gift cards.

the next day at church i was told about a possible prospect. he sounded ok. before anything could be arranged the woman quickly mumbled he was divorced. not to worry, he has no kids. another plus, it was a really short marriage that didn’t mean anything. i politely declined.

i miss the days when i didn’t have to worry about someone being too young or being pre-owned or both.

“if you win the X-box, can I have it?” - jocelyn