Saturday, May 30, 2009

This Town Ain't Big Enough

As we get older we get wiser. But there are some things I wish I weren’t getting wiser about. Can love and intelligence exist in perfect harmony? Can the brain and the heart work together and not tear a person to pieces?

I've spent the majority of my adult life single. I've been in one relationship and have more crushes than I could name (real people or not). I don't mind listening to another person's concerns but I don't feel qualified to give dating advice. If anything dating has left me thinking hopeless romantics should be taken out and shot.

I don't understand the “on a break” thing. Sounds more like “let me put you off to the side while I wander around. When I find no one better than you we’ll get back together. But if I find someone better, good-bye”. I think it’s good to tell your partner when things feel stagnant but the idea of a break, I just don’t like it. I don't know if there's anything comforting I can say to someone who's been forced into a break. My first thought is always, "This is the beginning of the end. Get out now".

Also, I don't know what it is about love that makes people lose their senses. I know that down the line when I'm dating again I'll be just as foolish. Even though it feels like a long time ago there are still things about being in love that I can remember. Apparently, cupid doesn't aim for the heart; he aims for the brain.

So in an earlier post titled "Has Become a Fan Of" I mention how I currently have a celebrity crush. I was on Zachary Quinto's official website and it dawned on me that this is stupid. For weeks I debated whether or not to become one of his fans on facebook. In that time his fan base has gone up 50%. Yes the man is incredibly photogenic, is great on screen and sounds smart but so what? Even if I were to become a fan, follow him on twitter, read his blog and learn all there is out there online about him I will never know him. He will never know me. He doesn't even know I exist. I will not be fan number 21 thousand whatever. What would be the point? I'm letting go of this and returning to my daily life minus ZQ (dang him for being so pretty).

"You like the bad guy? The one who goes around cutting the tops of people's heads off? Yeah, he's kinda cute" - sis.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Shades of Gray

(If you know what the above title is a reference to then you're as silly as I am).

I hate it when after telling somebody you're ok you realize after saying it you're really not.

For some reason on Sunday afternoon I just felt low. It was as if my brain forgot to make endorphins and I couldn't pull myself off the ground, figuratively (way too hot to lie on the carpet). It was such a great weekend though. I have moments when I'm not a bottle of sunshine but it got to the point where one of my sisters noticed something was off. She never notices.

I rewatched a few scenes from heroes but nothing. Sure I would smile a little when a certain someone came on screen but it didn't last long.

I didn't feel like eating dinner and I didn't even eat the ice cream sandwiches my dad bought.

Don't worry I'm not relapsing into anything. I'll never even consider it again.

The worst part is I don't even know why. I prayed about it and I felt a little better knowing even if I can't find the words He doesn't need to hear them because He already knows.

But still, this is going to be one extremely long week.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Has Become a Fan of....

This may contain spoilers (but not for you Allen).

I blame penicillin and lack of solid food for this.

During breaks I web surf. Lately I've been looking stuff up about a particular person. I wish I could say it's someone important like a historical or political figure but it's not.

In high school I had a binder with cut-outs of cute celebrities. Remember one of my old webpages in college dedicated to pretty male celebrities? Yeah, those weren't creepy at all.But now find myself in a similar place. There is no binder or webpage. But it doesn't mean I'm not thinking about it (I was trying to find two back issues of Entertainment Weekly where the guy's on the covers).

Luckily I haven't done anything descructive. No fan mail, I promise. Although I have been using up my hard earned flair credits like there's no tomorrow (I may have a flair addiction now. See this is why I don't have a specific hobbie or interest. Besides action figures I have spider-man sheets, floor mat and even cold packs. I become obsessed with something and then I have to go cold turkey. Oh turkey. I so miss meat).

I know I'm too old for this. Also, I'm sane enough to know nothing would ever happen. I don't even know the person. So this is just one more thing I will have to let go of. But still I grin like an idiot every time a certain movie trailer comes on.

But this relapse in my behavior has got me wondering if I have gone back to a specific guy preference.

Here is what I've noticed so far:

1)Guys raised by single parents or their parents were suddenly taken away from them (you know romulans or something)

2)Guys who are into sci-fi comic stuff

3)Guys with the dark twisty emo thing aka complicated

4)Guys who are tall with dark hair and dark eyes (because blond and blue equal happy to me and we all know how I am around happy people)

5)Guys with brains that they put to use

So in conclusion my current type is a 30-something year old Spock (but with better hair and pointy ears are optional).

(And no, I don't plan on attending any star trek conventions. My sense of smell is still working after all).

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Owned

The articles linked in this post may be graphic. Viewer discretion is advised.

I warned you.

I was eating lunch at my desk today while reading msn and saw this article from the Today Show Website, "Toddler Ok after pencil lodges through neck".

I almost choked on my soup and inhaled my spoon. This is one of my big fears and it freakin' happened.

Oh and here's another article on someone else who had a really really bad day.

For some reason I found this one funny.

Monday, May 11, 2009

The Fourth Wall

This blog would cease to exist if I didn't have my friends and family. They are the source material that keeps this whole thing going.

So on Friday after watching Star Trek the movie (JJ Abrams is a freakin' genius. I swear it was one of those movies that reminded me that I walk a very thin line between everyday person and fan girl. I would watch it again. I would've bought it legally if they sold it right there and then)a few of us stopped by Jack in the Box to eat. How high school of us. I think we would've gone to Arajo's if it weren't for a certain type of flu currently in the news (whatever, some of us are racists). Anyway somewhere between WOW and weddings the idea of lucid dreaming came up.

Allen wanted to learn to control what happened in his dreams or at least become aware in the dream he was dreaming because it would then become a new form of entertainment for him. However last time I checked he hadn't quite gotten there yet but instead
found himself in some very strange scenarios.

I can remember once where I realized I was dreaming and was able to manipulate some stuff around. It's pretty fun although at some point I lost control and ending up driving off a bridge. I think i was trying to see if I could go from bridge to water without dying. You know like in mario kart where if you drive away from the island track that guy on the cloud will come and fish you out of the ocean.

So, in a recent dream I found myself in a spanish-tile type of resort by the beach. Everything was sunset colors. Anywhoo, it's a group trip and I run into jocelyn in the lobby. we're heading out somewhere and she tells me she needs to wait for her husband. so we're waiting and you know who her husband is? it's ryan renolds but as wade wilson aka deadpool(sorry kevin)! he had the swords and everything. i ask her how that happened and she wasn't sure. wade was pushing a baby stroller (When i told jocelyn that part she got so mad. Not the fact that her husband wasn't kevin but the stroller part. It's a good thing I didn't tell her it was one of those that hold three kids at once). i asked wade what he thought about his depiction in the wolverine movie and he looks at me and goes, "You know about that? Can you see the yellow bubbles and boxes too?". Just then I realize that everyone had been speaking in yellow bubbles. Then a yellow thought box came up next to my head which read, "My life is a comic book? This is the best thing ever!".

But alas my alarm sounded and life is not a comic book. I double checked by talking out loud but there were no yellow bubbles.

"spider-man cheated because he didn't make his own web. if he really did it wouldn't come from his wrists. it'd come from his butt"- sis.