A is for .....

At work our IT stuff is outsourced. One guy who I'll call AV was the most dependable. More time was spent joking around than actually fixing problems. A few months ago we were assigned a brand new team. No more AV. My supervisors flew out to meet them. Shortly after, AV emailed to say “hi” and said I was his favorite because it never felt like work. Aww, he’s my favorite too. But we’ll never talk again.

then a friend who i haven't heard from drops a line, things are going ok but he's now off on a trail for a couple of months.

another announced he was getting married. to know you still matter even after no contact for months means something. i started to imagine what life would be like to have him around again. Then I learned he'll be moving across country soon after the
wedding.

at work one of my coworkers resigned and left the same day. we were in different dept but she was one of the first people to really welcome me to the other branch. we'd have lunch and she'd talk to me about the dangers of processed foods. i walked past her empty cubicle a few times today. I tried not to linger.

the best way i can explain is like this. it's like learning to skate. i cling to the wall and slowly i drag myself along until i start to slide. then i advance to where i'll trust you and take your hand. then you let go and wait in the middle of the rink. i follow you out but by the time i get there you're gone. i find myself alone not sure of where to go next. so i find myself crawling back to the wall and i start all over again.

i get that some connections are consistent. some are not.

I have different expectations, different levels for different people. But it's always hard when the expectations you have for someone don't match theirs especially when you want more than what they're willing/can give.

don't get me wrong, i appreciate those who are still here and those who are returning. but i sometimes wonder not if they'll leave but when. everyone is growing up.

whenever i get comfortable or attached things have to change. quite often it means separation. maybe these are suppose to be reminders that this is all temporary and someday we'll have to leave it all behind.

i get it ok? enough already of this life lesson.

For the record, adam levine looks nothing like ZQ, not even close.

Toilet Humor

So I was using the restroom when a coworker rushed into the stall next to mine and let one go. It was like a car back firing. I debated if I should go out of the stall while she was there or wait for her departure. I decided to sit very still and wait. After a while she left. As I washed my hands she rushed back in saw me and rushed back out. I stood there, washing my hands with cherry blossom foam, and looking at my reflection as it said to me, “At least you tried not to embarrass her”.

I needed to use the restroom at Golden Gate Park. They built a separate restroom and closed the one inside the boat house. As usual there was a long line for the women's. When i was at the head of the line only 2 of the 3 stalls seemed to have had occupancy changes. Another women behind me asked if i could check the third stall. Now before i go on further let me explain this was the large stall sometimes referred to as the handicap stall but is more likely the family stall. so i gently pushed opened the stall door and was assaulted by a scene i will not describe here. Let's just say I won't be eating boiled lettuce topped with oyster sauce anytime soon. I immediately back away and told them not to go in. One of the ladies apologized to me and the one who asked me to look wouldn't look at me. Just then the maintenance guy puts up the "Closed for Cleaning" sign. Why did you clean the men's room first?! You could've saved me.

Fred Has Been Found!

Last night as I was filling the time with watching gameplay online I happened to pop into facebook and learned that Fred was found.

Apparently, he was found in jocelyn's mini-fridge sitting in the egg compartment. Not sure what he was doing there. Maybe Fred was looking for a chick?

He's a little cold but he's doing ok. Fred must've known he'd be living in the peninsula land of cold and fog. He was just preparing himself for the rest of his life.

I'll be sure to keep him away from any fridges unless supervised.

Have You Seen Me?

Ever since Laurie got Jocelyn this crocheting book she’s been crocheting. She made a robot and offered to make me one. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it but I was really looking forward to owning my own yarn robot. The thing is freakin’ adorable. So finally the big day came Sunday and I got my very own and I named him Fred. I was very protective of him. Bon Bon for some reason thought he was food. Then it was time to take Fred home but he didn’t make it home.

I can’t find Fred. I’ve looked everywhere. Fred wasn’t at Jocelyn’s house either. The guilt of losing Fred has gotten to me. Last night I had a dream Fred called to say good-bye (I don’t know how Fred called me. I don’t think he had a cell phone). He said he was lying in a gutter. Fred told me it was too late and he didn’t have very long. I went outside to get him and I found him. His head was busted open and his star bead was missing. Fred had been mugged. I woke up this morning and I know I was dreaming but I rushed outside to look in the gutter and of course he wasn’t there.

The time with Fred was so short and now he is lost forever just like that pack of 100spider-man stickers. He's gone off to the robot-place in the sky. I'll miss you Fred.

I hope I never adopt. I’m sure it’s much more complicated when you misplace a child.

New Regime

One of the departments at work hired a new head. By the second day she was ruling with an iron fist. The morale of the other half of the bank is low. For years they would abuse lunch and break times. No more. Rumors about staff changes are coming true. Each month the axe drops and we wait to see who will be next. I’m glad I don’t work in that department. One day I was walking down this one hall and she was standing by someone’s cubicle. Apparently, I startled her with my ninja skills because she whirled around ready to attack. Minutes later when I walked by again she was giving the person in the cubicle the death stare. I tried not to look for fear I would turn to stone.

I don’t think the new hire even knows who I am or what my name is but when I greet her she just smiles back at me. The other day she was in the lobby and she was looking for a diet coke. So I tell her there are a couple in the lunchroom and her face lights up. She walks away but I realize I wasn’t sure if there were any left. So I rush up the stairs and luckily there were some. So I gently pick one up fearful that if I shook it and it exploded when she opened it I would see my insides line the walls of my cubicle. So I give this soda to her and she practically jumps up and down and says I’m the “bestest” and skips away from me back to her office (she really did skip).

I don’t know if that was creepier or her death stare.

3:40pm is the new 5:00pm

So I was hard at work when I received two emails notifying me of a celebrity passing. Within 10 minutes (I timed it), I received 4 face-to-face announcements from different coworkers about the same thing. I rolled my eyes acknowledging I was notified already. But I was annoyed that while I was working, everybody else was not. These are lean times. People are looking for work. The way people went about it bugged me because it was like office gossip and people were scurrying around trying to see who could spread it the fastest. I saw a couple of grins. C’mon, someone died. The facebook feeds? I bet prior to this majority of people weren't even fans. We live in the age of technology and science. With your cell phone you can twitter when you went to the john or post footage of it on youtube. I can’t imagine life without tech but there are some days where it’s too much. Remember when we used the phone to call each other? I have to admit I do like this one additional feature on my phone. I can take pictures and use those as cell phone wallpaper. Good-bye default sail boat. Hello Zachary Quinto.

(Yes, I see the irony in this. It's 2:56pm and I'm blogging while at work. I'm on a work break).

T-Minus 6 months and Counting

What super ability would you want? Ok, we all can't have telekinesis. We all can't go around moving objects with our brains. We'd become fat because we'd never move to get anything. Look what remotes did to us. Why do you think the term is couch potato. It ain't couch green bean. I would be wary to have telekinesis despite how cool it looks on tv. Jean Grey of the X-men didn't make it look cool though. It always looked like she was having a migraine or she'd collapse afterwards. The only times it looked effortless was when she was possessed or bad. Maybe only villains make it appealing. I mean would you really use it for good like saving cats from trees? No! You would probably use it for evil like (insert evil use here).

I was trying to think of one that matched me. Shape shifting's cool. Invisibility would be useful. Walking through walls would allow me not to carry my keys around. Crazy memory. I got that one already. Highly skilled mercenary with a mouth? I do like to talk. I've distracted many a driver with my conversation skillz but i'm not much of a mercenary. Spider...eww no. The other day I was standing by my closest when i tried to fix a hair that was standing up. Only it wasn't a hair, it was a spider's leg and the rest of the spider was still attached and alive. I know, that's hella gross!

Anywhoodle, another super power i find interesting is foretelling the future. There are some things i like to be surprised about. if you could see the future i think it would mess with you. it'd mess with me. i'd be all twitchy from whether or not i was purposely preventing an event or heading to it. i mentioned in an older post March 4 aka Go Forth about how a customer at work gave me a fortune about what would happen in the next three years for me when it came to my love life. At the time I didn't take her seriously. But lately these little signs/nudges keep popping up and it makes me wonder if something is going to happen soon.

The kids in sunday school were asking questions about laurie's engagement. one asked when i would be engaged. i would have to say yes to a somebody. i was short a somebody. she said it'll happen in six months and the kids sorta chime in with her.

At home group one person said when she first started attending she told her husband she felt someone would be engaged soon and it would be me.

I won't lie to you. I do find the prospect of this intriguing. I'm not on the hunt for anybody but it makes me wonder if he's just around the corner. I wonder if it's someone I already know. Do you think his initials are ZQ? ( I know, I really should take this down a notch. Don't want to come off obsessive). What if he's someone brand-spanking new? There are at least 3 weddings to attend in my future. We all know what happened at the last two I went to. Each time I make just a little more progress. Will the next one bring me to the one?

Eh, whatever. Telekinesis it is.