4 Years of College for This

An update: Feeling better now.

Online classes and training seminars. I thought classes ended once school was over. I don't mind taking classes for work but with advances of the internet long gone are the days where workers get the whole day to train. No more offsite conferences. No long lunches and early dismissals. Instead I am confined to the office staring at a computer screen listening to the consistent drone of the presenter over the phone for 3 hours. It doesn't help that there's plenty of distraction in the office. I think I dozed off halfway.47 slides of "if you don't do this the government will put you in jail", joy.

my dad says to me the other day he says:
dad: i know you're good in english. compose something for retirement.
me: am i bad in chinese then?
dad: what?
me: you want something on the overall infrastructure of retirement and how with the current econimic situation many in your generation and beyond may have to work into their 70s and then some in order to receive anything upon retirement?
dad:....
me: never mind
dad: i just want you to write something nice to your uncle edward about his retirement in this card
me: dear uncy edward. you are done working now. i wish i was too. lucky you.you be da best. the end.
dad: just get it done by friday.

Running On Empty

i can't keep food down. that's the worse. i don't need much in life to be content but i like food. i'll be in the middle of something and i'll just have the urge to hurl. i can't figure out what i ate wrong. this problem could not come during a more inconvinient time.

Thursday was weekly dinner out with the group which really should be renamed korean night. i like korean food especially the tofu stew but i had trouble eating it.

Friday came and I just felt nauseated all day at work. It was free bagel day. But the idea of salmon and cream cheese on a toasty bagel lost it appeal. after work it was time for in and out with laurie. i had this huge craving for it and everything seemed fine afterwards. But later...dun dun dunnnn. At jocelyn's ice cream was offered but I didn't want any. We went to get mexican food and the nausea came again.

Saturday i had soup for lunch. No noodles. Sad.7 up seemed to help. Then it was off to bj's. but we had to wait for hundreds of minutes so we went to the bookstore. we mostly mingled in the cook book section. my stomach decided it wasn't happy so off to read pearls before swine. oh, goat, how you suffer so. then dinner. Wedges, ok. Calzone, calcan't you mean (that was just awful).

Sunday morning came and i was early enough to have breakfast, two tablespoonfuls of kaeopectic, chalky cherry flavor. I get to church and I think I'm safe. NO! We were going to go over the line in the Lord's prayer about daily bread. So many food examples. It was the third week of the month. That's free food week at church. But we weren't eating there because we're not fans of salad. Fish and chips, do they have soup there? It's closed. Sandwiches instead. Now here is where logic would kick in and i should sit out right? Wrong. I order a hot corned beef with everything. And I had chips. Ok, things seem ok. Second lunch with the family. I am no ok. I AM NOT OK! Must get home now. Let's stop at Walgreens for something. Why is the pepto next to the food aisle? Home, safe now. Aunt comes over with Chinese pastry. soup for dinner. My family is having ribs. I miss ribs.

monday my 1.5 hour commute turned into a 2.5 hour commute. i have a love hate relationship with bart. i smelled like mint tea all day. i got tired of drinking water. there was a problem with the men's restroom so they turned off the water without telling anybody. i couldn't flush the toilet. somebody got a bad surprise. at dinner i had one rib. it was one rib too many.

*Sigh*, this is going to be a long week. With no food I am not functioning correctly. I had more than my normal number of word slips. at church someone mentioned a cancer walk and i thought we should do it. I said, "Yay support cancer". jocelyn looks at me and i try to back track but i end up repeating the same thing. at work today i was using the big paper shredder. it's about the length of my arm. i was thinking it would suck if i hurt myself on this thing. by the time i was done i had a 3 inch scratch running up my forearm. i think i cut myself when i was changing the bag.

I think God is trying to tell me something. Basically I cannot survive on bread alone. In our darkest moments He's the one we need to lean on. Like food it's important to make use of what blessings we get for that day and to share with others. We weren't meant to hoard them. He's sure to provide a new helping each day.

Nice Guys Finish Last*

It's the type that can't get the girl. They wait for that right moment to say something but it never seems to come and then it's too late. The object of their affection is loss to another suitor or worse she's placed him in the dreaded "you're like a brother to me" box. (The only other box I can think of that would be worse is the "you're like a mom to me" box. Not only are you no longer desirable but you become a whole generation older. Wait, the enemy box sucks too but with that feelings are mutual so it's not as bad).

Life isn't a romantic comedy where A and B are best friends. One day A falls for C but B loves A. B stands by while A has to go through a journey to discover C isn't the right one. But by the time A realizes it should be B something happens like B finds D. More stuff happens until finally A and B realize they are soul mates and they get together while D and C end up alone or with each other.

Is it really the nice factor that keeps them from the object of their affection or is it something else? Yes there are those who tend to prefer jerks but that gets old fast. Jerks may seem to win but there are plenty of nice guys out there who finish first. I can't help but feel it's the lack of action that does the nice guy in. The ones who tend to fail are those who don't try.

Isn't it better to give yourself a shot? To actually run the race rather than sit on the bench passing the players towels and water bottles? Have we learned nothing from Sebastian the musical crab which lives under the sea? I'm not saying just go on now and kiss the girl. That could bring about a restraining order. But really do something, say something.

Oh, and don't think this doesn't apply to nice gals as well.

Being nice will only get you so far. It'll get you into a box where escape is difficult if not impossible. ( Every time I see the word box I think of jack in the box. Did you know they have egg rolls there? They remind me of the ones in the school cafeteria except smaller and much less starchier. They aren't bad. Then again it's hard to go wrong with fried foods).

* Again, this is not directed towards any particular person. Just a generalized population, myself included.

The Ring!

At the last wedding I attended sparks flew, at this one not so much. But still it was really fun.

Again I bought a dress the weekend before and it was again crazy because I have this knack for shopping only when it's some sort of a one day sale. I found the right one hanging in the dressing room. Thanks shopper who was too lazy to put her clothes back.

laurie drove and an asian car gang sped past us going in and out of lanes. Each tried to occupy one lane and then they slowed down to like 55 mph on the freeway. They held up traffic for what felt like hours but it was maybe for 1/60th of one.

We stopped to pick up another gal and her house was sterile white with exposed beams and a pool! If I had a pool I would race remote controlled boats. I would have one flaming boat in the middle and a pirate boat and a lagoon and a crocodile that goes tick tock...

Based on our work from the last wedding we were asked to help out with this one. It was so much easier because eveything was organized into tupperware for each phase.

Ushers escorted us to our seats and there was a guy sitting there with his friends and he was smiling at me. Just as I was about to sit down my group decided to relocate. I noticed later on he was chatting it up with another gal who sat next to him. If they get married I should get invited.

They had the ring bearers walk down to the top gun theme. I almost cried again during the ceremony but I didn't want my make-up to run.

Then it was off to set up for the dinner but first detour to jamba juice. the cashier asked me what free boost I wanted and I said he could surprise me. Caffeine it was.

At dinner we had a fun table. It was nice getting to know people again. The guy next to me graduated the same year but was from a different fellowship. The pda was very controlled at this wedding. I think the bride and groom kissed like 5 times. Rice came at the end and I really wanted a bowl but none came so I used my plate. It's hard eating rice with chopsticks on a plate. Then the waitress just randomly drops off one bowl right after I'm done eating. There was dancing at the end and that was fun. I did feel really old though next to those high school kids.

When I got home I looked like a egyptian raccoon that had been punched in the eyes.

At the end of the night I didn't find a new obsession but I did find a new friend to add to my facebook, 40th friend to be exact.

Jerks Need Not Apply*

I called the cell phone company to disable the text feature. After being placed on hold for 20 minutes the operator comes on and we can't hear each other, bad connection. I yelled what I wanted and I must've sounded angry because she kept apologizing. After that it turns out she disabled the wrong feature so she placed me on hold again.

I've been in customer service for awhile and mean customers suck. Mean people suck in general but it feels worse when one is in customer service. It doesn't matter if you've had nice customers all day because that one idiot will bring you down. It's not like in the real world where you can fight back or walk away. You take it smiling or could lose your job.

So to my fellow CSR's good luck out there.

November is so close.....


*The above title is not directed toward anyone in particular.

Gavin

My sister was animated on Monday which was strange since it's the first day of the week.

This is sort of how the conversation went:
kim: guess what jen. i met the mayor and the CEO of my bank today.
me: was it mayor newsom?
kim: yeah
me: i heard in person he's...
kim: hot!
me: i was going to say tall but ok.
kim: oh my gosh jen. he's tall and when I saw him I just kept staring at him
me: did you get to meet him?
kim: i took a picture with him but my friend asked him because I couldn't talk to him.
me: he's just a person.
kim: but he was standing right in front of me and my friend said she could almost touch him. but I wasn't going to. i thought i would die if i touched him.

Plan B

Choosing to eat an Airhead taffy/candy/chewy thing is like being in a relationship. Unless you're willing to commit until the end don't start. Otherwise you'll grow tired of it and wonder why you started in the first place. Dang you and your shiny blue wrapper too!

I find it hard to come up with one plan. A second plan is just wishful thinking. Sometimes a changed plan ain't so bad like planning on having two lunches but ending up with one and ice cream after. Oh, ice cream. If relationships were like ice cream it be great. But what happens when Plan A fails but there is no contingency?

Plans involving another and the words "happily ever after"are tricky. After the break up is the plan still good or will it have to be scrapped? It seems weird to take a plan originally meant for someone else and then apply it to somebody new.

I have too much time on my hands or I'm just bitter. Most likely a combination of both. Why? What sort of angst is our heroine (i thought of the drug when I saw that word) dealing with now? What's the drama?

It's been like 3 years I think since I dated (I'm foggy about the time frame but it's fine. I use to count the days. That was not healthy). Granted I spent some time getting over it. I'm in no hurry but lately there's just something in the water. The people around me.. I can't quite explain it. Just because everyone is jumping off the bridge doesn't mean I should either but it's nice to feel included.

I kinda want to date but I kinda don't. The plan is to just wing it. If all else fails I'll be sure to have ice cream ready.