Rehab

"Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm stranded in the wrong time where love is just a lyric in a children's rhyme"- keene

relationships are like any other addiction. if not monitored correctly they spin out of control. they cost money. you can't wait for the next fix. they take work. they are so hard to get over.

i've been sober for almost 4 years now. sure there have been times where i almost jumped off the wagon. but i'm just not ready. of course that doesn't mean life will be kind and leave me alone. i'm in recovery and the world is flashing shiny expensive signs of it in my face. i don't know what i'm going to do if i hear about another engagement this year.

i thought i could avoid relationships and go about my merry way. but the more i try to avoid the more i notice. life is such a tease with its mixed signals.

i'v been trying to forget someone but the only way is to go cold turkey. then this fortune cookie says, "don't ever slam a door; you might want to go back". Are you kidding me? I hate you fortune cookie! Next time i see you i will crush you to pieces. But i'll still eat you afterwards. i find you tasty.

I'm Not Barbie, Get Over It

I wish people would stop trying to type-cast me as a girly girl because I am not. We had a secret santa gift thing at work and I got a music jewelery box. my boss pointed out how nice it was but i hardly wear jewelery. strange she would say this since she tends to buy me girl things as well. One year it was a pink fuzzy sweater that shed all over the place.

Numerous women in my family have commented how I need to work on it. They suggest make-up or hair or dresses. I don't see why I have to change unless I want to.

If I find the right person I want him to want me the way I am, not some dolled up version. It's too much work to be "pretty". It's much more comfortable living life in t-shirt and jeans. It cuts down on laundry costs as well. Do you know how much it costs to get a dress dry cleaned?

Doormat Mentality

I set a deadline for someone. One friend pointed out that if something were to come up after the deadline I would still respond. Besides the someone doesn't even know there is a deadline. Passive aggressive is easy. I'm mad but I'll act like nothing is up when I'm around them.

While I was occupied with the negative there was all this positive. My friends are super supportive. I'll live without the someone.

So yeah no more sitting around and being taken for granted. No more being stepped on. As Allen Joe said it's time to stop being sad and go back to being awesome. That's what I am awesome. If you agree then you're awesome too and we can be awesome together. If someone can't see that then they're the ones with mud in their eyes.....that sounded much more awesome in my head. You know cleaning dirt off one's shoe..mud..doormat...

Never mind.

Veronica Mars Got Killed….Again.

Ok not really but the actress who plays her had her character killed off on a different show. I liked this character. But I should’ve seen it coming. She was a guest star and somebody felt she had out stayed her welcome (I know it was bad but I couldn’t help myself). Yeah there are a few more petite blonds on the show but one of them should’ve been axed instead (including any lame love interests * cough * Matt * cough *). But instead they kill the complicated ones. That “Good-bye Elle” line has taken a whole new meaning now. He didn’t mean good-bye because I’m going to sacrifice myself to save you. He meant good bye because I’m going to slice the top of your head off later. Can the tv characters being played by Kristen Bell please be allowed to live? And no her being a voiceover on that other show does not count since all she ever says at the end of each episode is “XOXO”. Lame.