Say It Ain't So

this morning i got to work annoyed since i stayed up late to check the score for the giants game in which they lost. but then i looked at my outlook calendar and there in my list of scheduled of things to do was the giants game i'd be going to soon. just fifteen more days and i'd get to see buster posey in person. yay!

around lunch time i was cleaning around my desk and thought the underside of it made a good hiding space. so i crawled underneath and squatted there. i wondered if buster posey happened to also be squatting getting ready for tonight's game.

then i came back from lunch. i got an email titled, “depression”. i open it and the person says how sorry she is to hear about what happened to buster posey and wanted to cheer me up.

what was she talking about? i knew they lost the game but she’s never emailed me about losses. i heard he’s expecting twins but that’s a happy thing. so i went online and was greeted with the headline “Buster Posey Breaks Ankle”. i gasp and clasp my hands to my mouth. it's like i sucked my hands to my face and slapped myself. i click on the link and there’s an image of buster posey lying face down over home plate.

i haven’t cried in quite some time. the last time was around october. i didn’t cry but i could feel the tears swell up in my eyes and my heart drop as i read what had happened. then i got mad so i sat under my desk for awhile. then i watched video of what happened and i wasn’t as mad at the guy who hurt buster posey since he rushed over right after to check up on him. it's all part of the game. cathcers know what they're getting themselves into. the other guy wanted to score the winning run and if buster posey could tag him it be over. so he had to run him over, knock his mask off and break his ankle (oh, here comes the tears again).

but the whole thing had me rather upset. for a split second i really wanted a hug. since there was no one to immediately hug i gave up on that idea and went back to sitting underneath my desk.

buster posey is possibly out for the rest of the season. who am i suppose to shout flirtatious things to now?

awww buster posey. get well soon.

There's Gold in Them Litter Boxes

one of my coworkers asked me if i knew what the most expensive coffee is in the world. i don't drink coffee. it once took me two years to use up a starbucks gift card and it was only because i gave it away to someone who drank coffee.

she tells me it's a coffee from indonesia which is translated in chinese as "cat poo* coffee". the actual name is kopi luwak. cats eat coffee berries and then poop** the beans out whole. then the beans are picked out from the poop, cleaned, dried, roasted and then brewed into a cup of joe. it's not as bitter as a regular coffee and the aroma is suppose to be intense (i bet). an ounce of this is about $500.

i was disgusted by all this but it wasn't because someone out there was drinking coffee brewed from cat poop but that someone was paying so much for it. $500 for cat poo coffee? i'm sorry, i mean coffee beans leftover from cat defecation. yum.

i was almost tempted to start raising cats to make this coffee. i do know someone with cats, lots of them. well, they're not hers but they belong to her mom. as i was about to embark upon my plans of building a life upon people drinking poop, i learned it wasn't your typical household cat but a wild jungle cat which looks like it's been crossbred with a monkey. since i don't have readily access to a asian palm civet this plan will have to wait.

i do wonder though if i could feed jesse coffee beans just to test it out.

"don't forget our promise. we must never feed each other poo." - allen j (referring to jocelyn)

*poo
–noun informal
1. excrement.
–verb (used without object) pooed, poo·ing.
2. to defecate.
3. champagne. (From shampoo.) : How about another glass of poo?

**poop
[slang]
–noun
1. excrement.
–verb (used without object)
2. to defecate.
Origin:
1735–45; earlier “to break wind,” probably the same word as Middle English powpen, popen to sound or blow a horn

from dictionary.com

Kryptonite

i'd like to think i'm not a picky either. i can usually find something i like at a place. if i find something i like i'll will stick to ordering that one thing.

for example, my friends would go on and on about the salads at plutos over in davis. i finally got to go to the one in sf and in palo alto. both times on fridays. both times i have ordered the tri tip lunar dip. i should maybe try a salad but a steak sandwich is almost like a salad. it's just more crutons, more meat and minus the leafy veggies. it's taking the best parts of a salad and making it hand-held. it even comes with a shot of meat juice. ok, it's really meant for dipping but i've been really tempted to just drink that like a shot.

wait, that's not the point of this post. i haven't quite found a food i loathe but there is a food that loathes me. it's shrimp. it's the mermaid of foods to me. it sings its sweet song of the sea only to lure me to my death by cutting off oxygen to my brain.

i never know when this threat will strike. one day i had some in pasta no problem, next day a spring roll takes me down. i can eat dry shrimp no problem but one too many honey walnut problems and it's like venom.

it wasn't always this way. there was a time when i had no problem eating them. then one day i felt a tightness in my throat. it was my 21st birthday actually. at least i have a warning sign. i could've eaten my fill and then dropped dead.

in cases like this it be nice to not know what shrimp tastes like so i don't miss it. it especially sucks right now though because it's shrimp fest over at red lobster and i can't go to that. well, i could but i might not make it out.

"oh crap i forgot again." - jocelyn

The Post Formerly Known as Say My Name

i was in the middle of working on this post when i noticed another blogger had used the title i wanted to use. this is bound to happen considering this blogger is a genius as well. besides there was another blog on blogger called jenblue before this one came along so who am i to complain?

for the past week i decided not to call montana because there was some software glitches system wide so he would be busy. in the meantime, i sent him a birthday card. a few days later i decided to see if he had gotten it. he answered the phone and after a minute of greetings he asked who i was. i have him guess. he threw out a name and luckily it’s mine. then he proceeded to distract me with a story about unicorns in the bible. considering how common my name is i would say it was a lucky shot in the dark.

one could argue that a person can sound different when speaking on the phone versus in person but we’ve only spoken on the phone. my brain has concluded that our relationship has gone downhill. it’s expected since we live in separate time zones. it was only a matter of time before he’d find somebody new. was i too clingy? is my replacement younger than me? prettier? how could i not see this coming?

as i grappled with this montana told me he had to go and would call me back later. then he asked for my number which served as the kick you give someone when they’re already down. he once told me i was on his speed dial. did he forget, had i been deleted, or had it all been a lie?

he hasn’t called me back.

a friend said that it’s always been up and down between me and him. i shouldn’t jump to conclusions. there could be a perfectly logical explanation for this. but I’m not in the mood for logical so i'm going to blow this out of proportion.

i know what i am to him. i’m just one vendor on his list of hundreds of vendors. well, i don't need him. he may be the best tech in the dept and the most fun but it's over. it’s going to be a clean break since we have no property to divide up and no kids to worry about.

now, since i take my cues from pop culture i will need a rebound romance. most likely he will be a nice young piece of eye candy or i can adopt a baby from a foreign country.

i sorta miss montana now.

Post Responsibly

i was peeved with a situation at work and decided to vent about it on facebook but was reminded it would have consequences later on.

someone basically didn't do their job and when they finally did noticed a big boo boo with the software. of course this revelation occurs right before the person goes on vacation and so it was left up to me to contact the software provider. i don't even know how to use this software. how am i suppose to explain what is wrong when i can't even tell something is wrong? my boss was annoyed too but said it was up to me since i'm the most capable. this only makes me want to be as incapable as possible (but still get a pay check).

i vented about it in my profile. i wrote something like, "is sure her job description does not say, " clean up other people's half-butt jobs". i got plenty of sympathetic comments about it. it felt good to know others understood what i was feeling.

the next day one of my customers tells me to delete it so i did because she was worried i would be fired for it. i've seen the consequences of angry-posting. semi-anonymously blogging is much safer than posting on facebook where i would be attaching my name to a complaint regarding an employer.

i later learned that while i was angry-posting so was montana (awww, bffs). in addition he also unloaded an angry email, punched a hole in a door, and locked himself in the bathroom so he could avoid listening to what the other person had to say.

note to self: if montana ever visits me in CA i do not bring him to drew and syche's place.