Which of These is Not Like the Others?

i went to a wedding this weekend.

the bride got teary-eyed which was sweet. i made a new friend. he's dark haired, friendly, and loves treats. i was kinda turned off he kept trying to kiss drew. the little four-legged hussy (the dog, not drew. drew only has two legs. also, drew is not a hussy).

for the bouquet toss(of shame) they had us outside in the driveway. the theme to jaws was playing as people, bundled up in their winter coats, waited eagerly to see which unlucky lady in love would finally have the white wedding ever little girl dreams of.

as i stood there watching the competition jockeying for position i knew i was now a minority when it comes to being a single girl in my group of friends. my closest girl friends are either dating or married. the only other single pal is miles away in florida away from the crazy.

it kinda feels like the time when everyone was getting a blog and i decided to hold out for as long as possible or when everybody got facebook. i feel like people are in this prestigious club i'm expected to join but can't because i'm missing something.

but why should i let something like this bother me? this all goes back to something someone said two years ago about my future. she saw a ring in it. i've seen lots of rings since then, on the fingers of others. maybe she meant the people around me and not me specifically. if she meant me then i guess her powers aren't as in tune as she had me believe. somewhere a pack of restless spirits are probably pissed she didn't really lead them to the afterlife.

as all these thoughts swirled in my head like the wind through my deflated curls i decided i wasn't going to act like a nut.

as the bouquet flew into the air i knew what i had to do. i watched as the bouquet was savagely beaten down with its blood red petals hemorrhaging everywhere. it landed in front of me. all i had to do was bend down and it would be mine. it would no longer be a matter of if but when. all my problems would be solved. but as an act of defiance i stepped back as someone else went for it.

perhaps my destiny was to grab it. now i may be doomed forever to die alone. woe is me for challenging destiny.

oh and wouldn't you know it? the girl who ended up with the bouquet hadn't planned on getting married ever. it's not her thing.

take that destiny.

The Power of Social Networking/Cyber-stalking

there has been some major political upheaval in the middle east thanks to social networks. i could write more about that but i'll leave it to more reputable sources such as CNN and the AP to do that.

here's the flip side to it. there's a guy who i've been talking to over the phone for months because of work. one day he sends me an email and i learned what his last name was. using a few clues i've picked up i was able to locate him online. i can't stress the importance of strict privacy settings people. one day he mentions how he just bought lady gaga's cd and i tell him i was surprised since he's a fan of her facebook page. cue in awkward pause. so i confess i looked him up online. he gasps and says he can't believe i would cyberstalk him. we agree to be facebook friends. we're totally not each other types so there's no need to guess how long it'll take me to become smitten with him. also i think he's been avoiding my calls ever since.

another instance of social networking's dangers? months ago my family went to dinner with friends and their kids. one of the parents decided i would be a good match for her nephew. if i had nickel for every time a parent felt i was good for their family member i'd be rich, still single yes but rich. now there's a dinner planned for me to meet him. the parents and a few other people will be there because my favorite thing is to meet a guy with an audience. my aunt gives me the guy's name to see if i know him because the asian christian community in sf is hecka tiny. my sister pulls the name on a social network site and shows me pictures of the guy even though i asked her not too. why wouldn't i want to know what he looks like? because i'm vain.

i wish i could say looks don't matter but they do and they shouldn't considering i'm not hot and i don't exactly have a line of suitors lining up for me outside my door. years from now physical appearances will change and we'll all end up looking like prunes so i should look at what's on the inside but it's hard. the outside is right there. he's probably found me online by now and is thinking the exact same thing. if not, then he may be too decent of a person for me.

as wonderful as social networking can be it's not without its perils. oh well, time to earn my flair credits for the day.

Being Jewish During Christmas

customer: happy valentine's day.
me: i'm not into that but thank you. the same to you as well.
customer: *huffs* well, excuse me lady.
me: *snickers* love you too.

vendor: ...and you have a happy valentine's Day.
me: okaaaay. thanks i think.
vendor: what?
me: i'm single. i don't celebrate valentine's day
vendor: uh well, i don't either since i'm a guy and it's not a big deal to me. but since you're a girl i thought maybe it mattered more. not that i'm going around saying it to all the girls. it's 'cause i like you. i mean i like talking to you.
me: i didn't meant to get you all flustered. i just don't celebrate it.
vendor: yeah me neither i'm single too so it doesn't affect me. i just thought i should say it since it's a holiday and all
me: sweetheart, unless i get the day off it ain't even worth my time. but thank you. i appreciate the thought.

Taking Things for Granted

when i was overseas i learned to appreciate the basic things i took for granted in america such as english, ac and not having to cling to my valuables every time i was in public. i missed sitting toilets the most. not all restrooms in china are toilet bowls. some are just holes in the ground with no flushing capabilities.

at work in addition to having sitting toilets we also have toilet seat protectors. on more than one occasion, i've walked into a specific stall to find it a hot mess. i have deduced either a man has been using a toilet in the women's restroom or someone isn't sitting on the toilet and not using the protectors. at least the user flushes but a wet toilet seat is gross especially when you know it ain't water sprinkled on the seats and all over the floor.

i'm not the only one who has noticed. once i found the same toilet seat covered in not one but three sheets of clean cover protectors. that seemed to get the message across because the seat has stayed clean.

then recently, i go in to find the toilet seat is clean but now it has been left up.

seriously, is the line for the men's room that long that a dude has been peeing in the same place designated for chicks?!!!