Toilet Humor

So I was using the restroom when a coworker rushed into the stall next to mine and let one go. It was like a car back firing. I debated if I should go out of the stall while she was there or wait for her departure. I decided to sit very still and wait. After a while she left. As I washed my hands she rushed back in saw me and rushed back out. I stood there, washing my hands with cherry blossom foam, and looking at my reflection as it said to me, “At least you tried not to embarrass her”.

I needed to use the restroom at Golden Gate Park. They built a separate restroom and closed the one inside the boat house. As usual there was a long line for the women's. When i was at the head of the line only 2 of the 3 stalls seemed to have had occupancy changes. Another women behind me asked if i could check the third stall. Now before i go on further let me explain this was the large stall sometimes referred to as the handicap stall but is more likely the family stall. so i gently pushed opened the stall door and was assaulted by a scene i will not describe here. Let's just say I won't be eating boiled lettuce topped with oyster sauce anytime soon. I immediately back away and told them not to go in. One of the ladies apologized to me and the one who asked me to look wouldn't look at me. Just then the maintenance guy puts up the "Closed for Cleaning" sign. Why did you clean the men's room first?! You could've saved me.