April Showers Bring May Showers

Is it normal to have so many rainy days in a year? Does this have something to do with the world ending in 2012? I'm so over rain right now. I’m over a number of other things too.

Every so often a gal from my middle school will organize a get together to catch up. It’s been 13 years since I’ve seen some of these people. I haven’t been to a single one of these get togethers because I don’t care. Back in the day these were the popular kids all us nonpopular ones would try to impress. I can't help but to think these get togethers are just ways for them to relive their past glory. If one really cared so much about me why not just call me? If your purpose is to get us all together so we can compare who has a better life and who ended up a loser no thanks. But if you want to talk you have my number.

Work and I will never be BFF’s. I don’t understand having a policy that rewards those who break it and punish those who follow it. The notion of seniority is a bunch of BS. Thanks to seniority my approved vacation (which I booked 6 months in advance instead of the standard 2 weeks because I wanted to give work time to prepare) has been cut in half. If that weren’t bad enough upper management had the nerve to say to me, “I know it’s not fair but I have no choice”. There is always a choice like telling the other person, “You messed up. You live with the consequences.” or admitting “Yeah, you have to work that day because we’re short qualified people because we don’t hire qualified people”. Don’t give me crap about how I lost my slot because I have less seniority. Now I will have to go rearrange my schedule because seniority dictates I get last pick even though I followed policy in a timely matter.

I was talking to one customer this morning and she was dealing with all sorts of crazies in her life. Towards the end of the conversation we came to the conclusion that all the crazies in the world aren't worth the time.

Instead I will live for the happy moments and prepare for when the end comes. Hopefully, it won't be in the form of water because it'll mess with my hair. It's actually behaving itself for once.

Battlefield Cubicle

All I know is I didn’t ask for this. But I will defeat them. I’ve lost count of how many I’ve taken down these past few weeks. They say the first kill is the hardest but there have been so many that after awhile they all look the same.

This reminds me of the summer of ’08 invasion. The enemy never attacked us directly. But they went after the food supply. It got to a point where we had to take the fight to them. So many fell from the sky. Their corpses littered the ground. They dead empty eyes staring at you.

This new enemy is much more aggressive. Sometimes we only have seconds to react. Often by the time we realize they’re there it’s too late. We find ourselves covered in battle wounds but we persist. There is no reasoning with them. Their thirst for our blood is unquenchable.

Our methods are barbaric at best. If they’re lucky death is instant. Otherwise they’re left to twitch until the last breath is drawn from them. More come seemingly more desperate than those who have come before them.

At times I almost pity them. Such moments of weakness can’t be allowed on the battlefield. I will persist.

No mosquito is going to get a free meal out of me and live to talk about it.

You Had Me At….Nope

A lady at church tells me she knows someone I can date but I would have to fight it out with the Woos. Normally, another woman at church will enthusiastically suggest people for me to meet. I guess word is getting out I'm single. Luckily there was an audience to make things less embarrassing. Her husband pointed out how it was really a flirt to convert. We worked it out and the plan is for this professional athlete to be kim’s date at laurie’s wedding because her entire family will be there for him to meet. One daughter getting married means the siblings have marriage potential. The parents are 49ner fans. So I will sacrifice my chance at happiness and put kim’s ahead of my own.

Later as I was learning to play the bass, the regular matchmaker wants me to hurry outside. She tells me a guy drove up to get his convertible washed (The kids were raising money for camp). I continued strumming. I wasn’t rushing out. First of all, I was learning a song. Second, a bass is heavy, can’t just run with it. Well, I could but since it was plugged into the amp and I was sitting on a stool behind a wall of microphone stands I thought rushing would be bad. Third it was a hot day. Fourth, convertibles mess with my hair. Lastly, the image of a single gal rushing out of church to meet a guy isn’t the first impression I’m going for. Some might see it as desperation (I’m not there yet).

I slowly made my way but before I got outside I learned he had a girlfriend. The matchmaker says it’s not serious because he said it wasn’t. The guy donated $5. He actually only had $3 and asked his non-serious girlfriend for $2. I only saw his car. It was one of those tiny yellow two seater convertibles. I might’ve been interested if it came with one of those little toy dogs complete with Burberry travel case. I mean what girl doesn’t want a guy who will hold her purse and her dog as they look for cheap child labor in his tiny yellow convertible?

In some twisted way I appreciate that people consider me good enough to date strangers whether they be professional athletes or guys who drive-by in tiny bright colored cars.

It’s Not You It’s Me (No It’s You)

On my way to work a guy standing by the BART exit waived his flier and announced “Beware of Criminals with mind-controlling abilities. These individuals are out there and can target anyone”. The guy was serious. If I wasn’t half asleep I maybe would’ve asked to see the flyer. It did keep me vigilant and imagine anyone with a hood as a criminal. This pretty much meant everyone what with the rain and all.

Shouldn’t I be wary of all criminals not just the mind controlling ones? How about criminals with other types powers such as invisibility or a certain sociopath who will on occasion abuse his telekinesis.

Speaking of such, I was online today and one of the headlines was about ZQ. What are the chances the same day I’m being warned about super villains my favorite one comes up in an article? But I didn’t get through half the article when it dawned on me, “I’m over it”. On screen he’s nice to look at but off he’s a turn off in real life. Not a fan of the large cartoonish glasses he wears in public. We don’t have anything in common. We don’t run in any of the same circles.

So I guess I'm breaking up with my imaginary celebrity boyfriend, my tall easy on the eyes imaginary boyfriend....

Legends at Medium

Editor's note: Three posts in one day may seem like much but to be fair I didn't post in the month of March. You could say there was a March Absence (get it? Absence, Madness. That sounded clever in my head). I just plum forgot to publish.

I’m mad at Rock band but I’ll get over it. I wish I could say knowing we got through it was enough but no. 8 hours on a Saturday night gone for an image of a horse and an upgrade you can barely even see is lame. Not even a new instrument like a Rhine stone studded microphone appeared.

The 84 song set list was challenging. The rotation for most of the set kept things fun. I learned what some of the songs actually mean. My throat was sore for days after. Some songs don’t have human vocals. Growling is not a vocal. I can play medium guitar now. Drums are still better played as bongos because I can’t get my hands and feet to work together.

We started off with such gusto but towards the end the life bars were flashing red because we were half asleep. A few times I caught glimpses of us with our eyes closed and bodies slumped (my eyes weren't closed when i caught these glimpses. they happened when my eyes were opened). If possible I would’ve finished the set lying down.

But it’s been a while since my friends and I have spent hours working on something. It’s nice being silly for a few hours and knowing we’re not actually practicing to become a real band.

As soon as we play again I am buying 11 stuff. $50,000 in 8 hours ain't bad.