Friday, October 24, 2014

FACT: Did Not Buy Poop

Day 1
Me: Why does the car smell fishy?
Dad: It does?
Me: Did you go shopping lately? For fish maybe?
Dad: No. Maybe it's the jacket I'm wearing.

Day 2
Me: It still smells like fish. Did you wash your jacket?
Dad: I'm not even wearing the same jacket as yesterday.
Me: You sure you didn't buy fish or something. It smells like rotten fish.
Dad: I'm positive.

Day 5
Me: Ok, something is definitely wrong. It still smells really bad, like public restroom or butt hole.
Mom: Oh good, I was trying to figure out what your car smelled like. Not knowing really bothered me.

Day 9
Me: Dad, did you go shopping at all, for anything, in this car recently?
Dad: I did last week. Why?
Me: (hands him carton of milk). This was lodged under the driver's seat for a week. Now we know why my car smells like concentrated blue cheese butt.
Dad: I'm glad you found the milk. I thought I bought milk but when I didn't see it in the bag I thought I forgot to buy it. 
Me: I asked if you went shopping so many times last week. You said no.
Dad: You said for fish.
Me: Fish was just a guess because it smelled like fish. It now smells like poop. So if it smells like poop right now, should I ask if you bought poop?
Dad: OK, I know for a fact I did not not buy poop at the grocery store last week.
Me: .........

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