It Has Come to This

A coworker asked if I was still going to school. I finished school about 9 years ago.

It's crazy when I think about how long I've been out of school. I've been single for that same amount of time. I use to get comments like, "Oh you're still young", "Take your time", "It'll happen before you know it". Now it's mostly, "Career first am I right?", "What are you waiting for?" or my favorite "Don't give up. It'll happen".

People have tried and I appreciate the efforts made.  There was one guy with Asian fever, one who was at least 10 years my junior, one who spent the whole night talking to his cousin, one who kept talking down to his mother (yes he brought his mother), one 11 years my senior, one divorcee, one divorcee with a 13 year old and one lawyer (there was nothing wrong with him being a lawyer just geography issues). But none of them led to anything. Is it wrong to expect people to bring their A game at the first meeting? I bring mine. Also, I hella want to win because I am unreasonably competitive.

I've noticed one growing trend with some. Green card. That's right. I've been approached by people who are trying to find US citizens to marry. Long gone are the days where coming to America is a bridge for a better life. Quite often these people have already made their fortunes overseas but are trying to move it all to the US before their government takes a cut.

Such matchmakers receive a finder's fee. Of course these matchmakers are never upfront about their motives. They make it seem like they're doing me the favor. None have offered me a monetary cut.

Here are some of the questions I get.
1. Are you a US citizen?
2. Do you plan on staying in the US for a while?
3. Do you speak Chinese? It's ok if you don't, you can learn.
4. Would you be ok with signing a prenup?
5. How would you feel about getting divorced in 5 years?
6. Are you ok with not living together after the wedding?
7. Would it bother you if his ex wife and kids lived with him once you get married?

I'm not a dumba**. It makes me mad especially when these same matchmakers are married and have daughters of their own. Would they want the same thing for their kids?

One matchmaker was actually an aunt (through marriage). She went on and on about how she knows me and how this would be good for me. Hello! If this guy isn't good enough for your single daughter he isn't good enough for single me. She balked when I suggested her daughter meet him.

The conversation made me feel pretty awful. Had I really reached a point where if I wanted to get married I would have to settle for a temporary paper marriage?

Marriage is not a business arrangement. This is America. In America we marry for love and divorce at the first sign of trouble.