Lego Rejection --> End of Society

8/20/2013

on a business trip to carlsbad this summer a friend lamented how he wanted to go to legoland but couldn’t because he is an adult male with no children. there was an article about a man in canada who was denied access to legoland for that very reason.

i decided to drop by legoland to see what it was all about. i was allowed in. i guess i’m not considered dangerous because i’m female.

that day all the ticket sellers and takers were men. so men are good enough to work there but not good enough to be paying guests.

there’s lots of stuff to do if you’re a little kid. most of the adults i saw were lounging in chairs, benches, or on the ground while kids scurried about. i guess loiterers are ok.

when i picked up dinner at a quick service place, i overheard a father say to his kid, “stop f------ around. i will smack you. i’m not f------ kidding”. his wife realized i noticed and said, “i told you not to f------ say that to the kids in public”. lego is ok with parents who threaten children.

there are so many problems with their policy.

if you have access to kids via family, friends you can borrow them to go to legoland. but what if you have no kids in your life? lego fanatics who don’t have children in their lives will be driven by any means necessary to obtain children just to get into the park. can you imagine a kid asking dad why he/she was born and dad goes, “ legoland”?

people will start renting out their kids for profit. those rented kids will see legos as a job. the divide between the haves and the have nots will widen. only the rich will be able to afford such services. there are going to be knock-off businesses where they rent out adults who pose as kids. legoland is going to start carbon-dating guests to verify ages.

to address these issues, the rule will be changed to only allow legal guardians or people with special permissions only. your nanny will need to bring in a signed affidavit by you. you will need to provide DNA samples to prove that kid is yours. that’s going to lead to so much awkwardness on the ride home if that DNA does not match.

there are going to be lawsuits. childless people will demand to be let in. poor people will complain they can’t afford to rent children. privacy issues will arise. families will be destroyed. legos will be seen as a vice on society. all things legos will be banished. a black market on legos will be created. society will collapse all because some male lego fanatics were denied into legoland for lack of having a kid.

good job destroying us all lego.