Snap Out of It

"You want some cheese to go with your whine?" - joanne

Last Friday a coworker hit another driver's door. On the way to bible study a car hit the back of a truck. On the way home a car hit a parked car. Yesterday someone broke into a coworker's car.

There is a fire in la and I know someone who almost lost their house.

The train station by work has seen numerous robberies lately.

A customer's son died of cancer.

Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself, God puts the whole world back in perspective. Stop whining. My current "problem" pales in comparison to what else is going on. My world is not going to end because something did not turn out the way I wanted it too. I have more pros than I do cons in my life.

The latest pro: fries of sweet potato

Oh Snap

One morning while I was getting ready to go to class I heard the sound of constant running water. I looked all over the apartment but could not figure out where it was coming from. I thought maybe it was coming from one of the neighboring apartments but it was just so loud. Curious I walked into the hallway turned the corner and was greeted with a waterfall coming from the ceiling going into the carpet. I stood there for a second to make sure I was awake. After pinching myself I reported it to the land lord and by the time I got back from class later the waterfall and all remnants of it were gone.

At work I stepped outside to find one of the sewer covers slightly up with water and paper running out. When it was time to go home a large puddle greeted me inside the lobby of the building. The source was apparently the men's restoom. The lobby puddle is gone but one is forming in one of the stalls on the women's side. The building smells like poo.

I am glad in less than a week we won't be there any more.

Dreaming Out Loud

when giving someone an extension, it's a good idea to clarify how long. otherwise, you're left open to wonder when you'll hear from them again.

i decided to read everything i ever wrote on previous sites i had. well not everything because numerous pages have been deleted by geocities. over the years i have written about the same things. i don't remember the story behind some. i also read some parts of my journal. i'm not sure how i managed to pick myself up at times. i had help.

what i find is even though i'm content at the moment i'm still wary about forming attachments. for the past few weeks i find myself growing more attached. it occupies so much of my time. I know what i want but i'm scared to want it. I wonder if it's even mine to want. i don't want to get ahead of myself only to be left disappointed. it's hard to hold your heart out there exposed and vunerable. it's taken so long to put back together because i kept tearing out the sutures.

i don't climb out of bed anymore. i jump out of it ready to see what the day holds. i can't lose this because i want it more than anything. i want it to be ok to dream again.

Eeek!

i was watching tv when my sister runs into my room yelling her face covered in green. Not good since i just watched a cyborg have his face melted off in a pit of tar. after taking 5 years off my life she laughs to say it's a new face mask she's trying out. then she hurries out and does the same to my other sister, then my parents, and even the pet bird. i can't help but think they made a mistake at the hospital 23 years ago.

It's My Party and I'll Cry if I Want to

I got my haircut and as always some people have an opinion about it.

If I were to take in all the opinions I would have one messed up cut. Some think it's too short others too long. Some think more layers others less. More volume. Too old. Too young. Not me. You see where this is going yes?

I like the cut I got. It flips. It bounces. It's a time saver. It requires less water. Heck, I'm just excited I actually have enough hair to get it cut. It's been years since I've been able to cut so much off. No more bald spots. No need for hats. No stinky shampoos. No medication.

To all those haters shut up (haha i said "haters"). I didn't get it cut for you (granted you do have to look at it but so what?). I got it for me. Don't be jealous just 'cuz I know how to rock whatever hair style I have.

My cousin is 15 now. I can still remember the day he was born. I was 10 then. Remember being 10? My aunt was recording his party and my sisters and i were congratulating him on things like going to college, getting married and having his first kid. My aunt did not come back to record us later.

Where Did You Go

i'm home on a work day. this is the first time i've ever missed a day of work. time is moving so slowly. i strained my neck the day before and it hurts to turn my head. it's more of an annoyance. of course i was super responsible and did all my work yesterday and i told my boss i would be off and she could call me at home if she needed anything.

i'm not sure how to describe my current situation. for the past couple of months there are have been peaks and valleys. despite the physical ailments everything else seems to be looking up.

drew came for a visit and it was really nice seeing him and syche. it always feels so short but when there's a chance to say a bunch of stuff i can't find the words. despite all the "niceness" it felt sad at the same time. not the leaving part the catching up part. i know this person is my friend and i miss him but at the same time it's like being reintroduced all over again. do we still have anything in common? what will i say to him? has he changed?

i've been writing to guy from second wedding. it's like having a pen pal who consistently writes back. it's kinda sweet because if there's a delay on his part he'll write to say why there's a delay. in the third grade the teacher tried to get us to be pen pals with another class in another state. i forget where but the gal's name was daniella. i think i got two letters from her the entire year. new friends are great. reminds one that life is not set in stone and is constantly changing. i wonder though what's going to happen once the newness wear's off. most of the friends i know now are people that i've had constant contact with for years. he may be the first friend that i've met just once and have talked to past that first meeting. i hope i don't run out of things to say. impossible? we'll have to see. haha, i don't even know if we're friends. he's on my facebook. i should ask him, "are we friends now?"

it's raining outside. maybe my neck pain is really arthritis from the weather.

i should feel happy but i don't want to get attached to it. i don't know how long this will last and i'm already focused and what's going to happen once the bad stuff comes. i'm at a party and i'm on the way out before they've cut the cake. The whole thing is just dumb. Stop being emo. the advil isn't working.