Has Left the Building

a friend once mentioned how it can be hard to enjoy something because one is already preparing for the future. even when things are going smoothly one is bracing for the road blocks.

i don't think i'm a cold person but it takes a while to know me. i'm reluctant to invest in the short term. i get nervous when i find i'm attached to someone. there's always the lingering fear that someday they'll be gone from my life.

i know people grow up and sometimes it means growing apart. But this just makes it harder since i should know better and can't get over it.

maybe i just don't understand how in order for someone i love to be happy it may mean they will have to be apart from me. they will be living a life separate from mine.

but i guess that's why we have to live in the moment because once it's gone it may never come back.