Crescent Rolls and other Scary Things

as i was sitting in the den typing away with my frozen fingers i got to thinking i would very much like a hot flaky buttery roll. but in order to do this i would have to purchase rolls, open the package and prepare them in the oven. not too scary right? wrong.

over christmas, i learned i am afraid of opening the canister crescent rolls come in. i don't like the idea of the tube popping open as i remove the wrapper. how do i know it's not actually going to explode blowing my fingers off? that would be a weird disclaimer on a food product, "caution: may blow fingers off".

imagine my annoyance when after all the paper is peeled off the canister does absolutely nothing. so i yell at it. gingerly tap it with a spoon. try to peel the cardboard off. nothing. perplexed, i decide to climb a stepladder and drop the thing onto the counter. i do and to my horror it explodes sending bits and pieces of unbaked dough all over the counter blinding me in the process and causing me to fall off the stepladder shattering my hip.

just kidding. the thing just popped revealing the spongy golden colored contents inside. the rolls were baked leading to much rejoicing on christmas eve night.

as i get older i learn there are lots of things to be scared of but it's pointless to let them become road blocks. it's better to face those things head on (and maybe eyes partially covered). you may find they weren't that scary to begin with.

i need to remember this the next time i have to use matches or am faced with an audit at work.

sister: quack quack QUACK
me: why are you doing that?
sister: i'm quacking like a duck. QUACK!
me: i know but why?
sister: just felt like it.
me: ok then.

SAC to LA to SAC

jocelyn: i saved kevin a bite of churro.
me: ....
jocelyn: whatever, it's not like he really wanted it anyway. if he does he can buy his own.
me: you are a good girlfriend.

vacation time always goes by faster than work time.

there was lots of eating. i haven't weighed myself yet but i'm pretty sure the scale isn't going to tip in my favor. i could go on the exercise bicycle but it has been earmarked to go the the salvation army. because the first thing the poor need is an exercise bike. no, most likely the proceeds from the sale of the bike will go to them.

back to the food. i finally tried the hamburger my friends have been raving about. i was very impressed they were able to cook it to rare (rare is not pink red robin). after the first bite i was full. there are two kinds of full. stomach full and tastebuds full. my tastebuds were full. it was worth the long line for the best french onion soup i've ever had. i've had onion soup like 3 times but still, the best. i finished a ice cream soda with scoops as large as my fists. who knew chicken skin could be so tasty. i also accomplished something. i read about the kogi food truck down in socal and really wanted to try it. short rib tacos are so good. i ended the year at sandra d's.

i got to do some of my favorite things. there was the baking of bars which took days to make due to multiple trips for ingredients. i watched 2 good movies, inception and the departed. i got to try little big planet. i died many times. jocelyn killed 16 of my sheep during settlers. i need a boyfriend just so i'm guaranteed an alliance when i play. transformers is so crazy.

disneyland was ok. with the money they make they should be able to control the weather. walking around in wet shoes and socks weren't fun. ponchos are fun. the rain did weed out the weak so the lines were short. we found the vinylmations we wanted despite encountering a should not even be allowed to enter the magic kingdom as a guest cast member. chip hit on me. fake snow does not make up for 3 hours of waiting for fireworks in the cold. the extra at the end of world of color shows how good disney's marketing is. we made someone's day when we gave them our space mountain fast passes.

i used the sticks to play the drums on rockband 3 but at a cost. it was fun at first until i felt a blister forming on my right pinky. in all i gained 2.5 blisters. then during one set i felt a stinging feeling. i shook it off at first determined to play through sons and daughters for the 3rd time. when it was done i caught something red in the corner of my eye. blood trickled from the knuckle of my right index finger. i was more surprised than in pain. after that i went back to the bass.

i had fun and my tummy is very happy but it's nice to be home despite the mountain of work that awaits me.

"they should either be victorious or dead" - megatron.

Goodwill Towards Men...at 50% Off

christmas time has passed. as well as the timeliness of this post. but i'm going to post it anyway because i really like the title i came up with.

the worse time to shop are the weeks surrounding the holidays. the entire last quarter of the year is devoted to shopping. christmas is pretty much tailgating halloween(poor thanksgiving, the forgotten middle child). one minute candy comes wrapped in orange and black the next red and green.

i have nothing against presents. it's nice to know someone took the time to go out and get something for you especially when you realize how many people they had to battle to get the something.

people need to calm down. where's the peace on earth and the mercy mild? shouldn't the holidays gives us a sense of togetherness? honking your horn will not make things go faster. blocking the free sample table and eating every single sample on the tray is not sampling.

this year i will start my christmas shopping early. cheese logs i buy now should last until next december yes?