Lego Rejection --> End of Society

8/20/2013

on a business trip to carlsbad this summer a friend lamented how he wanted to go to legoland but couldn’t because he is an adult male with no children. there was an article about a man in canada who was denied access to legoland for that very reason.

i decided to drop by legoland to see what it was all about. i was allowed in. i guess i’m not considered dangerous because i’m female.

that day all the ticket sellers and takers were men. so men are good enough to work there but not good enough to be paying guests.

there’s lots of stuff to do if you’re a little kid. most of the adults i saw were lounging in chairs, benches, or on the ground while kids scurried about. i guess loiterers are ok.

when i picked up dinner at a quick service place, i overheard a father say to his kid, “stop f------ around. i will smack you. i’m not f------ kidding”. his wife realized i noticed and said, “i told you not to f------ say that to the kids in public”. lego is ok with parents who threaten children.

there are so many problems with their policy.

if you have access to kids via family, friends you can borrow them to go to legoland. but what if you have no kids in your life? lego fanatics who don’t have children in their lives will be driven by any means necessary to obtain children just to get into the park. can you imagine a kid asking dad why he/she was born and dad goes, “ legoland”?

people will start renting out their kids for profit. those rented kids will see legos as a job. the divide between the haves and the have nots will widen. only the rich will be able to afford such services. there are going to be knock-off businesses where they rent out adults who pose as kids. legoland is going to start carbon-dating guests to verify ages.

to address these issues, the rule will be changed to only allow legal guardians or people with special permissions only. your nanny will need to bring in a signed affidavit by you. you will need to provide DNA samples to prove that kid is yours. that’s going to lead to so much awkwardness on the ride home if that DNA does not match.

there are going to be lawsuits. childless people will demand to be let in. poor people will complain they can’t afford to rent children. privacy issues will arise. families will be destroyed. legos will be seen as a vice on society. all things legos will be banished. a black market on legos will be created. society will collapse all because some male lego fanatics were denied into legoland for lack of having a kid.

good job destroying us all lego.

Average Non-traditional Bridal Weekend – Monday

6/13/2013

birds…F.

we ate the weekend’s (not yet) spoils for lunch. too many ribs, not enough stomach space.

there was organizing of kitchen. there weren't enough shelves in the cabinets so it was off to target/walmart/toys r us for those.

pandemic! gah africa!

the labeling of three hundred puzzle pieces for the wedding guest book/photo thing. yay for pre-printed stickers.

don’t give jocelyn any lava-making devices in minecraft or in life.

we had tacos and eveyone used everyone else's name except their own for their orders. since i was last i decided to use posey. it is a very difficult name for people to say or read causing only confusion and delay of taco delivery.

jocelyn decided to be a human jukebox on the way home. Singing louder equals hitting the high notes apparently. it was a two hour drive.

“This whole kitchen wasn’t built for me. Everything is too tall” – Jocelyn

“Are you loud because you’re blind without your glasses so you use sonar like a bat?” – Allen N.

Average Non-traditional Bridal Weekend – Sunday

6/13/2013

i got up early because birds don’t rest on sundays ether.

i think i liked what i ate for brunch. i was pretty tired. at some point jocelyn woke me up before my face landed into my plate of cheesy grits and pork belly.

we watched the plan which is a supplement to battlestar galactica explaining the cylon side of things. too bad it didn’t explain the travesty of the series’ ending.

then it was off to the shower. we were greeted by an angelic looking little boy who was anything but. at some point during the party he was wandering around sans bottoms. after a dinner of burgers, salads and pine needles it was time for shower games. there was a quiz game, match people to candy game and match the famous couple game.

“I see Princess Leila. Where’s Luke Skywalker?” – Allen N.

“It's Han Solo! Even I know that” - Drew

“Amazing? YOU’RE WORD TO DESCRIBE ME SHOULD’VE BEEN LOUD!” - Jocelyn

then it was time for presents. jocelyn would lift each one and loudly announce what it was. there was some concern that she wouldn’t be able to control herself if something weird came up. but kevin was good about keeping a straight face. but then a glass patriotic-themed plate and bowl showed up and let’s just say it wasn’t the couple’s favorite thing.

“Ramekins. Bobby Flay Ramekins. BOBBY FLAY RAMEKINS!” – Jocelyn

then it was the moment we had all been waiting for. we decided to chip in and buy a lego death star as a gift. originally it was for the wedding but it was pointed out we wouldn’t get to see her expression so it was presented at the shower after much fanfare. we tried to plan it so it would be the last gift they would open. it didn't work out that way.

“Sorry accent table. “ – everybody

it was discovered during cleaning that there was too much food left over. so in addtion to cookies, cupcakes and gifts we also had trays of meat and potato salad to balance on our laps for the car ride home.

Average Non-traditional Bridal Weekend – Saturday

6/13/2013

after a night of sleeping on a partially inflated mattress and almost shooting my brush his teeth in pitch black darkness friend in the face i woke up to the sound of birds the next morning at 6 am. it’s the weekend birds. shush.

we headed off to salmon sandwiches, pate and salad at a café. next we were at a japanese bakery for curry pons and pastry. then we went to get 50/50s which are a combo of sherbet (ices) and ice cream. The weather was warm and it was nice sitting outside watching Jocelyn struggle through a medium.

“Jennifer, is your mom sense exploding as you watch the little dog sitting on top of the car which could drive away at any moment?” – Allen J.

“Drew ruined Harry Potter for me. I’m going to ruin Battlestar for him” – Allen N.

we went to Old Navy for sandals and learned after our purchase that there are boy sandals and girl sandals. three of us bought girl sandals but only two of us are girls.

“Look at the shape. All the colors. These have to be women sandals” – Allen N.

we played Pandemic which is one of those all for one games. if you screw up, africa gets covered up in yellow and everyone dies.

for dinner we went to a bar for burgers, not the burger bar. i got one with fried onion strings, bacon,a mac and cheese patty on top of a beef patty. in addition to regular fries, there were bahn mi, gorgonzola mushroom and blue cheese fries. our waitress reminded us of Adolf, ann’s rockband avatar, minus the bloody eye patch. at some point jocelyn confessed to her, the waiter, not the avatar.

instead of going to sleep after an entire day of eating, i stayed up learning about korean variety shows and dramas. i slept three hours. good luck everyone.

Average Non-traditional Bridal Weekend - Friday

6/13/2013

i went to a bridal shower held in the honor of one of my friends. she’s not your normal gal so you can imagine how the weekend went.

i took the day off to take my time packing which turned into lunch at five guys, leading to snack shopping at target, then marathon downton abbey watching which ended up being hurried packing.

the guys and i kicked off the weekend by eating wings and drinking beer. because that’s what adults do at 5:15pm on a friday. our waiter accidentally doubled the drink order. by the end it was obvious we were going to recreate penguin night at target.

“i thought you didn’t shoot me when i came out of the bathroom because you were talking to my mom not because you weren’t able to load the gun.” – Allen J.

so we went to target and walked around the snack aisle. we weren’t going to buy much since we had just eaten 3 baskets of corn dogs, 24 wings, 18 boneless wings, carrots and celery sticks and drank multiple beverages. by the time we left the store we had a family-sized bag of reese and kit kats, three family size kit kats, two cylinders of pringles, a box of gushers, a box of townhouse crackers, pandemic the board game, and a tube of toothpaste.

“why’d you let me buy so much stuff? i was drunk when we were in target!” – Allen J.

we met up with the bride to be and repacked everything into her car. on the way there a new game was shared. Allen J told us his coworkers would use binary code to convey whether or not they would have relations with a girl based on just her looks. 0 no. 1 yes. some had more trouble with the game than others.

“my mom. 1” – Jocelyn

“F*** YOU GUYS! IF I SAY SHE’S A 0 SHE’S A 0 - Allen N.

for the sake of everyone i offered the guest room to Allen J. his sleep is like him, not quiet. also, a good night’s sleep keeps me from being unreasonably murderous.

i opted for the office which was fine except the air mattress was underinflated since i decided to avoid reading the directions. i thought i heard something in the middle of the night so i got up armed with my nerf gun ready to shoot whatever in the face. i looked into the bathroom which was pitch black and wandered to where Allen N was only he wasn’t there. i hear someone behind me and it’s Allen N. brushing his teeth. he had been in the pitch dark bathroom brushing his teeth in complete silence because that is totally normal.

"Were you going to shoot me while i slept?" - Allen N.

“You’re like the guy in the horror movie that dies first because instead of running away you go towards danger” – Kevin.

It's Only Weird If It Doesn't Work

the six giants games i've been to this season have given me opportunities to develop some superstitions game assisting habits.

1) if the team does well while I'm not watching i won't watch the game until the status changes. if they are doing well while i'm watching i won't take my eyes off.

2) during opening weekend, ann bought jocelyn a bright orange beanie with tassels. good things have happened when she's worn this hat. we got a pleasant surprise at the end of one game. therefore, she must always wear this hat, no matter the weather.

3) hot goodness. allen n. must treat everyone to hot chocolate if the giants are trailing late in the game.

4) whenever any of the brandons mess up he will be labeled bad brandon. secondly, any white player not named buster posey may be called bad brandon because jocelyn gets all the white players mixed up. honorary bad brandons have included madison bumgardner and hunter pence.

5) participation in the fan programming is mandatory. this means doing the jersey shore fist pump even if you hate it. this also means clapping along to sergio romo's theme song even though it has been playing in a loop for 10 minutes.

6) if you cheer for the other team or any player on the opposing team (*cough* cody ross *cough*) and he does well, it's your fault and you're a traitor.

7) if the team is rallying, do not leave your seat unless you are allen n. see #3.

8) don't jinx it. never ever say before or during the game the giants will win. 

from the editor

i know. it's been months since i've updated. i'm surprised anyone is still reading this. well, it's not like i haven't had anything to write about. it's more like i haven't made the time to edit the stuff i've written. i made some time now. so new posts will be coming but they'll be out of order. so if you use these posts to keep track of the seasons, don't. not unless you like living randomly and confused.

ok.

Hairy Spotter

i was on bart the other day and the woman sitting across from me had on this dress with a low neckline. she was leaning forward the whole time playing with her phone. at one point her phone rang and when i looked down i noticed she had a patch of hair on her chest. i tried not to look again but i couldn’t stop thinking about it. i must’ve let my thoughts cross my face because she glared at me, got up in a huff and left. did she think i was checking her out? i guess i was but it was because she had a fuzzy broach right in the middle of her chest (oh and for the record, i've seen better boobs).

later that week i was at a bar-b-que and it was HOT. a number of women wore sleeveless tops. some decided to go the al natural route. people were sweaty and it resulted in lots of glistening hair. is this why they make deodorant go on clear? so it’s not as obvious if it flakes off and is stuck in the hair?

but why should women be expected to shave, wax, be hairless? men aren't. these women could be making a stand against that or maybe arm pit hair is making a comeback? if it is, it won't be happening at my house.

sis: look at all those hairy pits
me: shh!
sis: what? it's true. just look at all those cherry pits on the ground. litter bugs.
me: oh, i thought you said hairy pits.
sis: what?! oh. i saw some of those too. hippies.

Hey, I Just Met You

one afternoon i got a call from an old friend who wanted to know if i was free for dinner the next day. they made a reservation a month ago to celebrate her bf’s friend earning his ph d.

it was a fancy restaurant. i didn't want to look out of place so i got dressed up for it. having to wear proper attire for dinner is such an annoying first world problem.

i get to the house and both guys barely look up from their laptop screens. they were in the middle of some campaign and things had to be killed (i get why some gals don’t want to date gamers).

when that was done we played the board game outbreak. there’s no monkey or dustin hoffman. there’s just disease, then more disease and then death.

then it was off to dinner. a number of patrons were wearing suits despite the 80 degree weather. every time our waiter came to the table i made eye contact. he had such bright blue eyes. they could rival drew’s.

as i tried to calculate out how many jack in the box tacos this meal was going to cost me, my friend’s bf announces we order whatever we want because ph d was paying. ph d explains he had picked the most expensive restaurant in the area to celebrate. he didn't want to go alone so he was treating us for going with him. i thought to myself, “this is crazy”.

none of them had eaten greek food before. i explained what was what. my friend asked if i had taken classes. lots of tv watching I told her (that and the fact that I know people who don’t think about cost when it comes to food).

we ended up sharing everything. dessert was my favorite. yay galaktoboureko! i was surprised at how full i was but i was wearing really tight pants (they were the only pair which were clean and didn’t need ironing. i wasn’t trying to show off my butt).

even though I was there as a fill-in i got a free meal, showed how hours of tv watching is a benefit, and found another set of eyes to add to my hypothetical jar .

“you should go back to the restaurant on a date with the (ph d) guy and then get the waiter’s number” – syche (immediately covers her mouth after saying it).

Giant Meaty Priorities

i can’t call myself a baseball fan. i don't know enough about the sport as a whole. i don't find it interesting enough where i can watch any team play on tv. i'll only watch when the sf giants play.

cain pitched the team's first perfect game a few days ago. when they showed the final out and the ball was safely tucked into Belt’s back pocket afterwards (smart) i found myself jumping along with the team (my mom thought they had won another world series. oh mom). as i fell asleep that night my final thought was, “thank you god for matt cain and giants baseball”.

i’m just a giants fan. i don't love america's past time. but i don't feel bad about it especially when one of my friends sends me an email regarding cain's perfect game.

“SUBJECT: SAUSAGE!!!
WE SHOULD HAVE GONE TO THE GAME YESTERDAY!!!
MY DREAAAAMS WOULD HAVE COME TRUEEE!!”

As you can see there are all sorts of fans out there. You have baseball fans, team fans, and smoked meat product fans.

If You Think It, It Will Happen

at dinner the fortune i received from a cookie read, “if you can form it in your mind it will happen”. the first thing I thought of? a costco hotdog. i just had dinner but i wanted a hot dog. when i got home hot dogs were waiting for me to bring them to work for lunch the next day.

later, i was watching a news story about the tornados in the midwest. a man said he planned on rebuilding in the exact same place. it sounded crazy for anyone to rebuild in tornado country. my dad said that’s what people say about us living in earthquake country. no big deal since i hardly ever feel them i said. this morning i felt my house slightly shake due to an earthquake.

maybe this fortune works like a genie where i get three shots and then that’s it. i have one left. what do i want? money? an available buster posey clone ? fried chicken? fringe to be saved from cancellation?

wait, i already got what i wanted.

a really nice 29th birthday.

“buy only what you need not what’s on sale”. (syche's)fortune cookie

You Don't Say

A friend asked me if I recorded conversations because I can quote her. I just remember stuff. Here's a sampling from this year.

“My dad asked me if I know who Jeremy Lin is. I do but we’re not friends or anything like that”.

“My mom bought me pants for Christmas. I can put them on but I don’t think I can sit down in them”.
“Your mom bought you standing pants”.

“Dad said he knew the fried chicken recipe would be good because he got it from a black lady. That’s racist”.
“It is. But true”.

“She’s a mom to us all”.
“How would you like to make her a grandma?”.

“Ok, we’re each going to buy this gun”.
“Can I get him the basketball hoop instead?”.

“So I said he couldn’t do anything to you because you’re married. [Your wife] would be so mad”.
“The ring comes off…..I can’t believe I said that”.

“With an SAT score so low you still made it into Berkeley?”

“Lots of things, Point- of-sale, Piece of crap. I wanted to say piece of s*** but didn’t because I’m swearing less for you”.
“Thanks but you just said it”.
“Oh s***”.

“I didn’t go rouge during the gun fight. I went to lie down”.

“I wish I could’ve seen myself tripping”.

"I'm glad you're the one calling. I don't have to be professional then."

"I'm afraid to go poo now. I don't want to be shot".

“You’re still in your 20’s. That’s good because next year you won’t be anymore.”

Red Gold then Blue All Over

whether you are a football fan or not, by now you know the 49ers are not going to the super bowl. sadness! another superbowl i will watch mostly for the ads.

so many years without the playoffs and they finally made it back in. it would've happened sooner if not for a draft boo-boo in 2005. the cal bears had a good record that year but didn't get into a good bowl because the BCS is a popularity contest. the cal quarterback aaron rodgers wasn't drafted in the first round by the 49ers but instead by the packers*.

it was these circumstances alex smith found himself in when i was deciding whether or not the 49ers were wise for drafting him. before training camp he was hosting a halo party and i told my dad he should be resting his hands not button-mashing on a controller. he suffered a hand injury later on. coincidence?

it's not fair to put the playoff woes of one team on one guy. but when a rival team wins the superbowl with the quarter back your team could've drafted while your team isn't even in the playoffs it's hard not to think of what might've been.

this season during the lock-out, smith held his own practices despite not even being signed with the team. maybe he did it because he had nowhere else to go. i'd like to think he wanted to show the doubters (like me) he knew what he was doing. he was acting like a first round pick.

i know smith doesn't get all the credit for the turn around. they got a new coach (who's ain't so bad even though he coached stanfurd) and the defense is filled with mad men. but smith did his part. he still isn't my favorite qb. but i'll admit it, he proved me wrong.

so to alex smith, you're alright.

although things ended sadly it was fun getting to watch the team get as far as they did. let's look forward to next season and not direct all our anger towards one player.

afterall, to count oneself as one of the 49er faithful you have to believe there's always another shot next season.

*correction made

When I Was Your Age

this year, black and orange was just for halloween. that didn't deter people from wearing giants gear on monday though. if the point of a costume is to pretend to be something you normally aren't, what does that say about those who wore giants gear as costumes?

my parents didn't pass out candy this year. it has nothing to do with the recession but with our waistlines(see previous post). each year, less and less kids come by. last year we had 3 kids, leaving us with sugar surplus. most of our neighbors don't have young kids. the few who do take their kids to the mall.

that's right the mall. nowadays kids trick or treat indoors while their parents wait at the food court sipping starbucks coffee and eating orange chicken from panda express. whatever happened to walking five miles uphill both ways knocking on strangers' doors in the fog with the chance of getting something laced with poison or decorated with razor blades while having mom and dad reminding you they still have dinner to make so we better hurry up?

they go to safe zones. neighborhoods set aside specific streets for pedestrains to trick or treat. where's the adventure? being able to play frogger to get across the street to the next house?

they consolidate all the bad people and ban them from giving out candy. i'm ok with this.

they go to school. you just spent 8 hours there. why would you go back? the kids suffer. the teachers suffer. no one wins.

they go to church. better wear something rated g. it could be a scary place if you expect to run into an albino dressed in monk's robes or a nun.

trick or treating in controlled spaces can't replace going door to door. you don't meet your neighbors, see their decorations, and can't justify eating the thousands of calories you've just collected because you didn't burn any wandering the mall munching on a pretzel.

what's going to happen to trick or treating in the future? maybe they'll make an app where electronic candy is sent to our kids' smart phones.

Au-some

so i'm currently writing from the land down under. that's right i'm on a different continent. i'd thought i'd do one international post in this lifetime.

here are a few observations:

the water swirls differently in toilets.

toilet not restroom.

vans are trucks and trucks are vans.

rugby, cricket and soccer are the sports they have on tv.

don't drink directly from the tap here.

ketchup is known as tomato sauce.

they are so racist here they make jocelyn and allen j (combined) seem p.c.

there are barely any black, mexican or filipinos here.

their currency is called dollar. things are about double what they cost in the U.S.

they are the most obese country in the world.

they have take away no take out.

they can smoke outside indoor areas right next to the doorways.

driver side is the right side. they drive on the left side of the road.

metric system.

brothels are legal here.

they call mcdonalds mackers.

their kfc is bland and the chicken pieces are tiny.

kangaroos are in zoos and in super markets. tastes like rare short ribs.

awesome is what they want to be.

they do not have hup to ha here.

nearly everyone owns an iphone.

they love jersey shore and worship snooki.

they eat crumpets for breakfast.

national dishes include meat pies, chicken parma and lamb.

ufc is illegal.

flashing of butt crack is the norm.

$5 foot long will cost you $7 and they don't have provolone or monterey jack chese.

they are no jack in the boxes.

america wins.

Road Kill 101

rookie: what’s a possum?
me: it’s an animal with a long nose, about as big as a cat, hangs in trees. why?
rookie: a customer said she found one dead in her pool.
me: (shows her a picture) this is what it looks like.
rookie: it’s ugly. it looks like a mouse. what does it eat?
me: not really sure. i think they go through people’s garbage like raccoons.
rookie: what’s a raccoon?
me: (shows her a picture).
rookie: that's cute.
me: yeah, but it can have rabies so don’t touch it if you see one.
rookie: when you’re driving on the freeway and you see dead animals are they possums?
me: sometimes. they can also be raccoons and skunks.
rookie: what’s a skunk?
me: (this child needs to visit a zoo or watch bambi) (shows her a picture). if you see one don’t get too close. it could spray you. the spray smells really bad.
rookie: interesting. what other animals are dead on the freeway?
me: deer. cats, sometimes birds.
rookie: people hit birds?
me: my dad did once. it left a grease stain on the windshield.
rookie: in china we don’t see dead animals on the road.
me: that’s because people in china eat everything.

Ah Cucharacha!

one of my coworkers was talking to me when another coworker comes over and says something in chinese. immediately the one who had been talking to me freaks out and looks like she's going to run for the hills. i look over in the direction of the terror expecting to see some paranormal activity, flood, or even a rat but no. it was a cochroach. seriously?

she's lived in china, worked in a chinese restaraunt and has lived in the City for years now. cochroaches are still scary to her? granted the one in the office was the size of a large paper clip. but it was just minding its own business. plus the ones in china are larger and they play dead. at this one hotel the thing was lying on its back and the moment it thought no one was watching it flipped over and scampered away.

as my two coworkers held onto each other for dear life i offered to go catch the thing but i couldn't get past them. they flag down a guy coworker who steps on it. i suggested he flush it down the toilet in case it knows how to play dead but he says he's killed it.

does he not know that cochroaches have survived things which have taken down dinosaurs? a simple shoe is not going to be enough.

i have this awful feeling it's going to want retribution later on.

Waking Up to the Smell of Burnt Toast

the wiring in my work’s break room is bad. in one power strip we have plugged in a microwave, water dispenser, toaster oven, coffee grinder and coffee maker. the power strip is constantly flickering. two of the remaining walls each have a large fridge plugged in. at any given time the whole room can crash. we can’t have the microwave and the toaster oven going at the same time otherwise the circut breaker breaks and it means cold meals for all.

the toaster oven may be the most used but the most neglected appliance up in there. it’s tiny. it hasn’t been cleaned ever. if it weren’t for the extreme temperatures some sort of life would be breeding in there by now.

also, if we don’t keep an eye on it, it’ll magically turn food into charcoal. one day a 2 minute toast is fine. the next day, briquettes anyone? if burning your food isn’t bad enough, the smell spreads throughout the entire office. so everyone knows your bagel’s now toast (bad joke bad). we end up with fans running all day so the smell doesn’t get to the lobby. the smell of burning bread is not an image we want to project to our clients. not unless we're selling campires, bbq, or some sort of trash buring service.

oddly though, no matter how strong the smell gets or how smokey the room becomes the fire alarm never sounds...i'm so glad i sit steps away from the lobby doors.

Are You a Sea Turtle?

i got to watch a world premiere musical at theatre works in palo alto. it’s called “Fly By Night”. since i have an in with somebody there i got to watch it for free.

one can’t complain when an invitation is extended to them. my plan was be polite and say thank you afterwards even if i didn't like it. but when i saw where the band was and heard the narrator speak i decided i wanted to like this. i hoped it wouldn’t suck. it didn't.

go see it. if you don't think my opinion is good enough the chronicle and the examiner gave it rave reviews (these papers are enemies but both agreed on this). i could go into detail why i liked it but i don't want to spoil anything so i'll just share a small conversation it triggered.

me: are you a sea turtle?
allen: maybe
me: are you headed for the highway?
allen: maybe
jocelyn: YOU WOULD PROBABLY GET RUN OVER.
allen: .......
me: would you be the one to run him over?
jocelyn: yes

Thursdays with Ann

thursdays are when ann and i have our weekly call. i can't quite remember when we started but it was a way to keep in touch since she insists on living thousands of miles away. we communicate throughout the week through facebook too so you'd think the calls would be short but they average at about 3 hours or until my cell battery dies or when ann realizes it's super late.

(ironically since she's currently visiting CA i didn't call her this week. but anyway,) during one of our conversations one topic involved a t-shirt she got from the boys section. girl clothes are not made for girls like us. we aren't stick figures with extremely long torsos. the conversation went something like this.

ann: it says california on it.
me: aaawww
ann: there's a guy on a surf board with a sail on it. what's that called?
me: i dunno. kite surfing?
ann: no. dang, what is it? wind surfing. right?
me: sounds right to me
ann: i like this shirt. wait, it says "socal"
me: fail
ann: whatever, people from socal hate the term "socal" so it's really an insult to them
me: i didn't know that. well as long as it's not dodger colors we're ok.
ann: no it's not. wait, it's blue.
me: oh no
ann: and white
me: lol
ann: wait, there's a little green
me: oh ok, not the dodgers. wait, aren't those canuck colors?!
ann: oh. well no one is going to notice with the california, surf board and socal on it.
me: i will
ann: (is probably rolling her eyes at this point) yeah i don't like shirts for girls cause i don't like stuff like pink, flowery swirls and cats.
me: yeah 'cuz cats are the worse
ann: yes

strangely enough, ann did not bring this shirt with her while on her cali visit....