TOAST!

7/16/2013

i was not asked to give a toast at my friend’s wedding which was fine because i don't like public speaking. but if i was asked this is what i would’ve said.

i first noticed jocelyn during the first week of high school. she was always around this guy i had a crush on so i saw her as my rival. the guy turned out to be so-so. jocelyn turned out to be awesome.

i got to know her through our friend ann, who is my neighbor and is also awesome. they were always together so i had no choice. one day jocelyn walks into the library looking for ann. i noticed she had a photo in the front her binder. she starts telling me about how the guy in the picture is her secret boyfriend because she’s not allowed to date and how they’ve known each other since they were in diapers and how cute she thinks he is. the whole time i’m thinking, “that’s a lot of information. ann. where are you?”.

over the years i’ve learned that jocelyn may be small and petite in stature but she has a huge personality. She’s loud. never sit in front of her. she’s not afraid to speak her mind. once, we were in a crowded convention hall and she declares out loud how bad the BO was in the room. if you’ve done something stupid she’s going to point it out.

her loudness is only overshadowed by her huge heart. with her schooling she could totally work in a lab and earn lots of money. instead she teaches science to kids. she’ll spend her own time and money in order to do this. on more than one occasion i’ve found myself with her at thrift shops and lab closures rummaging for random things to use in experiments.

she just does stuff. tell her a problem you’re having and she’ll try to fix it. no boyfriend? she will look for you. she recently suggested a 19 year old she met as a suitor for me. i’m slightly past that. need a shoulder to cry on? she’ll be the first person to tell you to get over it and she’ll tell you what a loser the guy was and how the next one will be so much better.

if jocelyn is eating something she likes she usually won’t share so when she does it’s a sign that she likes you or the food sucks. she knows what she likes and isn't afraid to make it known. if she offers crème brulee, she’s only sharing the custard part not the sugar crust. eat that and you might as well consider it your last meal.

kevin, i hope you know how lucky you are.