no substitutions please

i was at the store and wanted to stop by the toy section. mom looks at me and asks if i’m too old for that. out of habit i say no but then i thought about it and realized i’m nearly a three decade year old wandering a toy aisle looking for toys to buy for myself.


most people my age would be there to buy toys for a kid not themselves. well, what’s wrong with wanting to buy toys? as a kid i couldn't get the toys i wanted right away. i had to wait until it was a gift receiving occasion (if only we practiced being jewish then i would've gottten more stuff) or if i saved enough to buy the toy i wanted. by then the toy would be sold out. if gift givers managed to remember what i wanted they would buy the wrong one. michelangelo is not the same as leonardo. a pink wand can’t replace the sword of omens. i wanted the mickey mouse plush not the pencil sharpener with his face on it, (stupid santa).

i make my own money now so i can buy what i want. but you know what? it’s too late now. i am decades too late to buy the toys i wanted (at a reasonable price).

if you want to save your kid from wandering the toy aisle when he/she is almost three decades old buy them the toys they want. jot it down in a day planner, tie some string on your finger, keep a printout in your wallet.

if you don’t your kid is going to be writing santa a very strongly worded letter the day after christmas year after year until the old man gets it right.

from the editor

i know. it's been months since i've updated. i'm surprised anyone is still reading this. well, it's not like i haven't had anything to write about. it's more like i haven't made the time to edit the stuff i've written. i made some time now. so new posts will be coming but they'll be out of order. so if you use these posts to keep track of the seasons, don't. not unless you like living randomly and confused.

ok.