Friday, April 30, 2010

Battlefield Cubicle

All I know is I didn’t ask for this. But I will defeat them. I’ve lost count of how many I’ve taken down these past few weeks. They say the first kill is the hardest but there have been so many that after awhile they all look the same.

This reminds me of the summer of ’08 invasion. The enemy never attacked us directly. But they went after the food supply. It got to a point where we had to take the fight to them. So many fell from the sky. Their corpses littered the ground. They dead empty eyes staring at you.

This new enemy is much more aggressive. Sometimes we only have seconds to react. Often by the time we realize they’re there it’s too late. We find ourselves covered in battle wounds but we persist. There is no reasoning with them. Their thirst for our blood is unquenchable.

Our methods are barbaric at best. If they’re lucky death is instant. Otherwise they’re left to twitch until the last breath is drawn from them. More come seemingly more desperate than those who have come before them.

At times I almost pity them. Such moments of weakness can’t be allowed on the battlefield. I will persist.

No mosquito is going to get a free meal out of me and live to talk about it.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

You Had Me At….Nope

A lady at church tells me she knows someone I can date but I would have to fight it out with the Woos. Normally, another woman at church will enthusiastically suggest people for me to meet. I guess word is getting out I'm single. Luckily there was an audience to make things less embarrassing. Her husband pointed out how it was really a flirt to convert. We worked it out and the plan is for this professional athlete to be kim’s date at laurie’s wedding because her entire family will be there for him to meet. One daughter getting married means the siblings have marriage potential. The parents are 49ner fans. So I will sacrifice my chance at happiness and put kim’s ahead of my own.

Later as I was learning to play the bass, the regular matchmaker wants me to hurry outside. She tells me a guy drove up to get his convertible washed (The kids were raising money for camp). I continued strumming. I wasn’t rushing out. First of all, I was learning a song. Second, a bass is heavy, can’t just run with it. Well, I could but since it was plugged into the amp and I was sitting on a stool behind a wall of microphone stands I thought rushing would be bad. Third it was a hot day. Fourth, convertibles mess with my hair. Lastly, the image of a single gal rushing out of church to meet a guy isn’t the first impression I’m going for. Some might see it as desperation (I’m not there yet).

I slowly made my way but before I got outside I learned he had a girlfriend. The matchmaker says it’s not serious because he said it wasn’t. The guy donated $5. He actually only had $3 and asked his non-serious girlfriend for $2. I only saw his car. It was one of those tiny yellow two seater convertibles. I might’ve been interested if it came with one of those little toy dogs complete with Burberry travel case. I mean what girl doesn’t want a guy who will hold her purse and her dog as they look for cheap child labor in his tiny yellow convertible?

In some twisted way I appreciate that people consider me good enough to date strangers whether they be professional athletes or guys who drive-by in tiny bright colored cars.

Monday, April 12, 2010

It’s Not You It’s Me (No It’s You)

On my way to work a guy standing by the BART exit waived his flier and announced “Beware of Criminals with mind-controlling abilities. These individuals are out there and can target anyone”. The guy was serious. If I wasn’t half asleep I maybe would’ve asked to see the flyer. It did keep me vigilant and imagine anyone with a hood as a criminal. This pretty much meant everyone what with the rain and all.

Shouldn’t I be wary of all criminals not just the mind controlling ones? How about criminals with other types powers such as invisibility or a certain sociopath who will on occasion abuse his telekinesis.

Speaking of such, I was online today and one of the headlines was about ZQ. What are the chances the same day I’m being warned about super villains my favorite one comes up in an article? But I didn’t get through half the article when it dawned on me, “I’m over it”. On screen he’s nice to look at but off he’s a turn off in real life. Not a fan of the large cartoonish glasses he wears in public. We don’t have anything in common. We don’t run in any of the same circles.

So I guess I'm breaking up with my imaginary celebrity boyfriend, my tall easy on the eyes imaginary boyfriend....

Friday, April 2, 2010

Legends at Medium

Editor's note: Three posts in one day may seem like much but to be fair I didn't post in the month of March. You could say there was a March Absence (get it? Absence, Madness. That sounded clever in my head). I just plum forgot to publish.

I’m mad at Rock band but I’ll get over it. I wish I could say knowing we got through it was enough but no. 8 hours on a Saturday night gone for an image of a horse and an upgrade you can barely even see is lame. Not even a new instrument like a Rhine stone studded microphone appeared.

The 84 song set list was challenging. The rotation for most of the set kept things fun. I learned what some of the songs actually mean. My throat was sore for days after. Some songs don’t have human vocals. Growling is not a vocal. I can play medium guitar now. Drums are still better played as bongos because I can’t get my hands and feet to work together.

We started off with such gusto but towards the end the life bars were flashing red because we were half asleep. A few times I caught glimpses of us with our eyes closed and bodies slumped (my eyes weren't closed when i caught these glimpses. they happened when my eyes were opened). If possible I would’ve finished the set lying down.

But it’s been a while since my friends and I have spent hours working on something. It’s nice being silly for a few hours and knowing we’re not actually practicing to become a real band.

As soon as we play again I am buying 11 stuff. $50,000 in 8 hours ain't bad.

Brave New World

This is the title for the new Heroes chapter but the show is probably dead, no longer able to regenerate itself for another season.

Spoiler Alert (How long do you have to keep information under wraps until it won’t be a spoiler anymore? By now everybody knows how Harry Potter ends right?). I didn’t watch right when the show premiered even though Jesse from Gilmore Girls was on it (Jesse and Rory should’ve ended up together. I’m glad the show didn’t end with her and Logan together. I really wish Veronica Mars had ended with her and Logan together. I liked that Logan. I still don’t have season 3 because I’m still mad about the cancellation). Then they had this marathon on a Saturday night and I couldn’t wait for each new episode. Then it got lazy and we have what we have now.

Sylar became a hero. He went from being interesting to emo to happy-feely. I preferred the serial killer who lurked in the shadows. I loved Sylar screen time because it meant ZQ screen time. I will miss seeing you on a weekly basis in the fall season but even your prettiness couldn’t save this disaster of a show.

The cancellation isn’t official yet but we all know this is it unless something weird happens (it is NBC after all). The show is bad and expensive to keep around. It ended as a cliffhanger in an attempt to keep itself alive but I’m ok with it ending as is.

After I get the final season on DVD it’ll be over (This has made me rethink owing any more DVDs of shows that aren’t done yet).

Bye-bye Heroes

College Avenue

One side effect to a good memory is remembering the emotions tied to those memories. Over time as the memory fades so do the feelings. But with a good memory it makes this harder.

If gouging my eyes out could remove the memory it would be rather tempting especially if every time a new set would grow in. I would keep all my eyes in a jar on the coffee table. It would be better than one of those coffee table books. “You see this pair here? I took those out because I saw….”. Wait, but if I remember the event with my eyes taken out it defeats the purpose of having them removed in the first place.

One of my favorite parts of college has nothing to do with school. It was having roommates.

Initially everyone had warned against living with people you were already bff’s with because people end up not being friends afterwards. Strangers weren’t good ‘cause it be harder to find them later on if you know there was a crime committed. I found people in the middle of these two spectrums and it turned out well.

My favorite part about roommates were the conversations we’d have about whatever. Some of the best conversations happened as we drifted off to sleep. You’re not really sure what you’re saying except somebody was listening and they were probably too tired to remember what you said but it was still nice.

It's been years since college and I still keep in contact with my roommates. But we're in different places now and it's not the same as before. But I do look back with fondness.

I suddenly have a craving for ramen.