Friday, June 27, 2008

Smile and Nod

There are phone calls in life that you never want to get. You wonder if you did everything you could. If there was something you needed to say.

I didn't know my grandmother on my dad's side very well. She lived by herself and I usually saw her during the major family holidays. She tended to sit in a chair in the corner of the living room. I remember she liked honey-baked ham. She would always give us red envelopes when we visited. She called me big daughter (my dad says she meant eldest daughter, but I was a big child growing up). She had the biggest plastic bag paper napkin collection. It filled an entire closet. I think I get the pack rat side of me from her.

Despite our different dialects, we tried to communicate which was amusing. She would ask me a list of things and I would just smile and nod. Then she would look at me and say "You don't understand me do you? " which I would reply with a smile and frantically nod.

My favorite memory of her had to be on another sad day. It was at the funeral of my grandpa on my mom's side. When you're twelve it seems like books and tv make it such a big deal. It's like every coming of age story starts when you're twelve. I was sitting in a pew by myself crying when my grandma on my dad's side sat down next to me. As the pastor was giving his eulogy she was trying to tell me not to cry so much and things would be ok because my grandpa was in a better place. Before you knew it everyone was facing us. Turns out she was speaking so loudly no one could hear the pastor.

The last time I saw she seemed a bit more cheerful. For the past few years she had become very ill and we didn't see her much. She hadn't smiled for weeks. Not really knowing what to do I was fumbling with my cell phone. She looks at it and I show her my wallpaper. She smiled and nodded. It was a picture of a pom pom sheep I had made. My dad thought it was a cat. But my grandma got it. I bet she liked sheep too.

I'm not sure how to end this post but to say i miss you po po. I sure could use one of your napkins now.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Size 10?!

With two weddings this summer I can't get out of buying a dress. Since we were at the mall, Jocelyn and I went to look. She picked a size four for me. I don't think I've ever worn a size four. I tell her my size and she didn't believe me at all. I go try some things on including the size 4. As I put one leg into it there's just enough material for that one leg and much more of me left outside the dress. Now common sense would tell me it's too small but I was tired and hungry and I told Jocelyn I would try. So I try to put it over my head and got stuck. I had one arm up above my head the other arm stuck halfway. It was getting warm. It looked awkward. I could see my reflection in the dressing room mirror. Then the saleswoman knocked on the door to inform me I was in someone else's dressing room. Out of the many empty rooms I chose the one reserved. I couldn't pull the dress down and it wasn't going up. So I stood there debating if I shoudl just tear it. One final pull up and I was free, dress unharmed. But my hair tye broke, casualty of war. I don't like dress shopping.

"Allen, can I tickle your feet?"- Allen N.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Burn?

After breaking up with someone, what do you do with the stuff they gave you? Set it on fire? Donate it to charity?

I've kept most of the stuff in a box in the bottom corner of my closet. In the beginning I kept the stuff because it was hard seeing it out in the open. They just served as constant reminders of a time that didn't exist anymore. Eating at me everyday. Yes, a part of me even thought there would be a do-over someday.

Now I keep the stuff for two reasons:
1) Sentimental
2) The dang box is just too hard to get to. It's located under blanket box, hat box, college box and misc. item box

Maybe I'll get rid of the stuff once I start a new relationship or need the space in my closet. The latter seems much more likely. The chair in my room is not a good place to keep a week's worth of slacks stacked, no sir.

One could give back what they received from the other person. Physical items. None of that "my time" or "my heart" blah blah blah.

My sister and I were watching a movie online. There were all these misspelled subtitles. She told me we almost had a dvd copy of the movie but our other sister had given it as a gift to her then boyfriend. As we listed things we wished she could get back from him we stopped to think of what he gave her that we wouldn't want to give back, the playstation II + video games. We concluded she got the better end of the deal.

Lift and Separate

I was trying on a bra with undewire. Whoever decided to put wires and bras together probably meant it for torture purposes. I couldn't tell if it did what it's suppose to. I was distracted by the pain.The end of the wire dug right into the area under the rib cage in the middle of the chest. It's was like a pen cap being pressed on the skin and the minute you breathed out it would puncture the lung. Holding one's breath only made the wire sink in. I was trying to get out of the thing but the clasp was stuck and then I started to rapidly breathe which made things worse. How embarrassing, to die by a bra. Luckily reason came to play and I escaped. I get now why some gals don't wear bras. Their first one probably had underwire in it.

I decided to calm down with some tv. The program on was about planning a party, a bra fitting party.

This is not how I want to spend a sunday.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Black and Red

Jocelyn pointed out how there are no celebrations for singles in the United States. We celebrate fertility (see Valentine's Day, Birthday, Mother's Day, etc). In Korea they have something called "Black Wednesday" where singles mourn single hood. It's suppose to counter Valentine's Day. Why the separate day? Can't singles just do all that stuff on Valentine's Day? I guess if we're biologically built to procreate we're suppose to show steps towards that. So if you're single, you've failed your biological purpose. Really, you just lose. Society doesn't celebrate losers. Maybe this lack of celebrating single hood is meant to inspire us all to pair off or face death. If you don't have kids there goes biological proof you existed in the world. Take people who have 18 kids. 18 chances to further extend their genetic legacy. Eventually their offspring will take over the world. Or maybe just maybe they're genetic soup will be so diluted they won't survive and nature will just pick them off. So having multiple children won't really guarantee survival down the road. Maybe single people have the right idea. Why share your life with someone and raise kids when there's no guarantee they'll make it? In conclusion, single people are the geniuses of our society and should be celebrated.

I was reading laurie's entry about having conversations with guys and I came up with a counter stance. Why shouldn't a gal talk and learn more about her guy buds? "Spicy pork turns my poo red". Yes, it was an honest and personal statement by a guy friend but it was just too much.

"I can be friendly if you don't know me". - Jocelyn

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

17

The Boston Celtics won the NBA championship. People were jumping, hugging and slapping butts. I think the guys I know are more touchy-feely towards each other. The girls don't go past high-fives. I learned butt slapping among guys is ok but cupping of the butt while slapping is not. I had a coach slap me on the butt once. It was the first and last time. First of all she slapped me pretty hard. Second my butt was already uncomfortable because basketball shorts are conductors of static electricity. Slapping of the butt in this situation is dangerous. In basketball players couldn't wear any jewelry because they can get caught in things or pulled off. But really it's because of the static. If your whole body is building up static from the jersey, sweating from the moving, and then it touches some metal BAM! Electrocution.

Oh, I'm glad the Celtics won by 39 points. Boo Lakers! Boooo.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

A Rose By Any Other Name

At church jocelyn brought up the topic of having a name of the opposite sex. She wanted something exotic and it became very latin. Somehow we decided if she was a jorge she would have to be pudgy. What would your new name be? Mine would be ben riley. If you know where that name comes from you rock.

Cookie-cutter fortune

I got a fortune cookie message that said, “You have remarkable power which you are not using.” I thought, “This must mean I’m actually clairvoyant”. Sometimes I have a feeling about something out of the blue and not long after something related happens. Yeah it could be coincidence but that cookie confirmed it. This is the universe trying to tell me I have super powers. As I was contemplating how to develop my newfound ability my coworker reads her fortune out loud “You have remarkable power which you are not using.” I totally didn’t see that coming.